Adobe updated Lightroom and added "Lens Blur" to their toolkit. It's a feature that uses artificial intelligence to blur the background behind a foreground subject. It works.

SOOC. No added blur.

Straight out of Lightroom. Blur added to the background.

I'm happy to announce that Adobe added a Lens Blur/Background Blur tool to Lightroom. It's very similar to the Depth Blur tool in the Photoshop App. Depth Blur has been there for a year or so as a beta part of that program. It's worked well for me for jobs on which I photographed people on white backgrounds and then dropped them into existing backgrounds (cityscapes, offices, industrial architecture, etc) and wanted a realist representation of focus falling off as one looks deeper into the frame. 

The version in Lightroom Classic analyses the image you want to apply the effect to and makes a 3D depth map to aid in making the blur more realistic. It's a nice option to have when a background is a bit too detailed and takes attention off the main subject of the photograph. The effect between the image at the top and the one just below it is subtle. I rendered it the same way I would have if I'd been working for a client. And a good thing about it is that you have control over the amount and characteristics of the blur.

If you are on the $9.99 a month Photo Plan from Adobe it's entirely possible that your LRC app was automatically updated last night or the night before. With this addition and an added precision color picker, along with the vastly improved automatic selection tools, Adobe is doing a good job helping photographers take even more control over their images. 

Subject break.

I'm packing up and heading out to do a favor for a friend this afternoon. He's getting married (again) at age 74(?) and he's having a small ceremony over in the state Capitol Building. I volunteered to take photographs. It's been decades since I last photographed a wedding but this is on a very small scale with no big theatrics (I hope). We'll start at 5 and be finished by 7.

I've packed the Fuji GFX 50Sii along with the small zoom lens and also the 90mm f1.25 TTArtisan lens. I recently picked up a Godox V1 flash, dedicated to Fuji, and my tests show that the flash, combined with the GFX works very well. Good exposures and also easy to use.

As a back-up I'm taking along a Panasonic S5 coupled with the 24-105mm zoom. This combo has a lot going for it. The body and lens work together to give one dual I.S. And the sensor in the camera is wonderful at higher ISOs and lower light levels. I have a dedicated V1 for that system as well. 

For grins I'm taking along the Q2 for quick grab shots and generally to keep my hands busy during the down times. 

When I turned on the shower to clean myself up and get ready for event I discovered that a monitor lizard has been living, rent free, in my bath tub, retreating into the drain whenever I get too close. B. and I were able to trap him and release him out in the gardens where he can actually do some good and eat some of the plant predators (insects) that come, lockstep, with gardens. Sadly, now I have no monitor lizard to keep me company and with which  to sing duets in the shower... He'll no doubt join the growing herd of monitor lizards we keep seeing in the backyard.

Subject break.

My right hand is still mending. Just more slowly than I would have liked. I've now skipped out on both Friday and Saturday swim practices but I bought some big, waterproof bandaids and hope to get to the pool tomorrow. Before I forget everything I ever knew about swimming. 

***

I thought I was on a roll with my travel to Montreal but my kid has me beat. He was in Las Vegas last week for a medical technology conference and in just fourteen days he'll be flying out for a two week vacation in Japan. I'm jealous. But I lent him my new roller case anyway. 

He's so corporate now. Actually gets several weeks of paid vacation and lots of flex time. I'm living vicariously through him as I never worked as an employee in a large company and am amazed to see all the perks and benefits that executives get. 

He's doing so well that his mom (B.) and I have run out of things to worry about and fret over. A nice feeling to have a kid who has launched himself quite well. 

Now heading to the wedding. Hope I still remember how to focus stuff. And how to best handhold a camera. 

Lovely to still love photography as much as I do. How do I know? I miss it when a day goes by and I haven't made a photograph. And I still marvel at it when an image turns out well. 

Mix and Match. An alternative to the Q2 and the M.

 

"It's always more exciting to get newer cameras than it is to stick with the status quo and work every day with old favorites." That must be a "law" of consumerism that's written down somewhere.

Leica introduced the CL (digital camera = Typ 2373) back in November 2017. The MSRP was about $2,800 USD, camera body only. The CL stands for "Compact Leica." 

While I have "better" cameras I have a strong affinity for the CL because it's almost a direct copy, body style wise, of the original Leica screw mount cameras that were the sole camera products from Leica until around 1955 when Leica introduced the M3 and a continuing line of M mount cameras. Effectively replacing the company's long line of screw mount lens bodies and their lenses. 

My very first Leica, bought for a couple hundred dollars --- with lens, was the screw mount IIIf red dial. I compared that body to the CL and found that, as far as dimensions are concerned, they are a close match. Since this was the main camera for Henri Cartier-Bresson, Robert Frank and many other superstars of photography in the first half of the 20th century it carried with it the gravitas of photo history and the glow of its long correlation with some of our favorite documentary photographers. At least that's the way I always looked at those early Leicas....

The IIIf red dial was a fun, small, hand camera. It had a 50mm optical finder (no correction for parallax!) and a separate finder window next to the viewfinder for the rangefinder. Mine came with a 50mm f3.5 Elmar, collapsible lens. The lens was pretty good once I stopped it down to f5.6. Also, one had to custom trim the leader of pre-packaged films in order to get them to work in these cameras. Lots to think about. 

I bought that IIIf back in 1979 and I still have it here in the studio. And it still works. 

When I first saw the CL (digital) in person it was such an obvious nod to the early generations of Leicas that I could see right away that the camera was a gracious homage to the originals. But updated for modern times. 

I made the mistake of handling a Typ. 2373 and was enamored. Enough so that I eventually purchased two of them. Both in like new condition. 

There are two things beyond the look and feel of  the camera that I really like. One is the use of a Panasonic BLC-12 battery which is also used, under a different product designation, in the Sigma fp and  fpL cameras as well as many recent Panasonic and Leica compact cameras. These are inexpensive to buy new. Unless you opt for the Leica branded version. My preference is for the Sigma branded version which is designated the BP-51. It's so great that one has a wide range of brands to choose from since the cameras tend to be battery hogs. The Sigma BP-51 will set you back about $ 45. Yes, it's a bit more than the completely generic ones but there is a margin of implied safety there that has value... The Leica battery (and I've used both a lot) is no better or worse than the Sigma; just a lot more expensive.

The CL uses the L mount lens system and will take pretty much every L mount lens made. That's its other super power. 

So, the camera is small and light (but dense). It uses a contemporary lens mount. It can use cheap batteries. What are the downsides?

Well, the biggest downside is that it's been discontinued. Bound to become a pricy collector's item over time. And I wish the EVF was of a higher resolution. But that's certainly not a "transaction disruptor." 

A while back I outfitted the CL system with a set of Sigma Contemporary lenses for the APS-C L mount cameras. Sigma makes a nice selection of lenses that work well on the CL and are pretty cost effective: at least when compared to Leica lenses. I bought the 16mm, the 30mm, the 56mm  and the 18-50mm zoom. All are very good performers on the camera. But it's also notable that the camera works equally well with the full frame lenses. 

It's kind of silly to use some of the FF lenses with the diminutive camera body. The Leica 24-90mm zoom looks outrageously inappropriate on the small camera. Same with big, fast lenses. But there is a whole family of FF Sigma lenses that seem nearly perfect for use on the CL. These are the all metal, Contemporary lenses with aperture rings. I have a number of them but the three I like to use with the CL cameras are the 24mm f3.5, the 45mm f2.8 and the 90mm f2.8. 

Each of them are sharp; even wide open. All three are relatively small and light. Certainly they look appropriate on the cameras. And they all work with the camera's processing.

When I over-use a camera I can tell quickly. I start to get bored with it. A bit lethargic about going out to shoot. And I find myself stumbling through camera store websites. 

When I finished really looking at the work I'd done recently with the M camera I was ready to take a break from manually focusing and manually exposing and I started looking around for a camera with some spirit and some automation. 

I went instantly to the CL and the assorted full frame Sigma lenses. The look and feel, and operation of the lenses seems like they were made for each other, and the results are great. So, for a little while the Q2 and the M are getting some R&R in the gear cabinet and the CLs have come out to play. One with the 24mm lens (35mm eq.) and one with the 45mm f2.8 Sigma (66mm eq.). They make a really nice pair. One on the shoulder and the other is a very small shoulder bag. 

The cameras use the same 24 megapixel sensor as the also discontinued Leica TL2. It's a great sensor and the color science of the cameras is wonderful. And I know, that's mostly a result of processing, but I think the sensors do make a difference. 

I was going to sell off the CLs but I've changed my mind. They are valuable to me because they allow for more "crop rotation" between camera types and shooting styles and my limited attention span appreciates this. Also, they are just that much fun to handle.

Today's choice for a camera to take to lunch to see my friend, Greg, is one of the CL cameras with the Sigma 24mm lens. It's a just right combination. 

I really like the CL camera and hope that Sigma makes an APS-C camera body in a rangefinder style just for use with all these L mount lenses. It just makes good business sense....

Anyone else still enjoy shooting the "cropped" frame cameras? 

Wanna read more about my experiences with the CL? Hit these links:

CL links:

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/06/dont-you-hate-it-when-companies.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/05/the-leica-cl-and-leica-tl2-exit-camera.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2023/07/an-interesting-travel-and-street.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/12/the-leica-cl-was-underappreciated.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/07/camera-guys-love-to-modify-their.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/12/youre-finished-with-commercialheavy.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2020/03/thinking-about-what-lens-sigma-should.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2020/03/thinking-about-what-lens-sigma-should.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2020/03/thinking-about-what-lens-sigma-should.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/07/a-minimalist-carry-everywhere-camera.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2023/01/love-camera-love-lens-hated-combination.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2023/02/strange-cameras-and-equally-strange.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/09/sigma-contemporary-30mm-f14-lens-is.html

https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2022/12/getting-up-to-speed-with-really-nice.html

Wow. I've written a lot about one particular camera..... gee 

After my harrowing near brush with mortality (cut hand) I gathered my wits about me and headed over to South Congress Ave. for three important things.

 

Read about my traumatic swim injury in the previous post. https://visualsciencelab.blogspot.com/2023/10/ot-tragedy-strikes-not-real-tragedy.html

First thing, after banging up my hand and getting triage, I decided I needed protein. Stat. To start and fast track the healing process. I did the logical thing and headed to the Torchy's Taco restaurant on S. Congress Ave. for a couple of their ample egg, bacon and cheese breakfast tacos. My hand instantly felt a bit better. The protein and life giving fats were quickly doing their work.

With new nutrients working their way through my body and to the top of my hand I headed down the street to my next stop. A unique and fortifying elixir to help me focus more clearly on situational awareness. You may know it as coffee. I headed to Jo's Coffee on the same street as Torchy's so I could sit outside and embrace the freezing gale (a 5 mph breeze at 68°) and feel the nurturing effects of the caffeine in a large cup of drip coffee. 

Properly fortified I strolled down the street with my camera held in the very same hand on which the injury occurred. Getting back in the saddle, so to speak. And I spent a calming hour just snapping images with the Leica M and a 35mm Zeiss lens. 

I am overjoyed to report that even though the swimming wound is slightly painful it in no way hampers my ability to make photographs --- even in spite of using a fully manual camera!

A reminder that actual participation in life comes with unpredictable dangers... But it's still worth fully embracing.

Ramping up  the couture for the Austin City Limits music festival.

Mindlessly snapping away while drinking life affirming coffee.

don't stop making iterative photos until you have what you  want...

People in Austin really do like Willie Nelson. All of us, I think.

I will be back. I swear, I will be back!

Actually it's not that big a deal. It's just that my life is usually so charmed that 

when even the smallest part goes awry I'm shocked. Just shocked.

OT: Tragedy strikes!!! (Not real tragedy --- just hyperbole). Swimmer sidelined by massive injuries. Full recovery expected...

 

Bandaged extremity.

You get to learn stuff over and over again in life. Such as...pay attention to where you are in the lane when swimming. Or, just pay attention in general. "Situational Awareness 101." 

We were in the middle of swim practice and our coach was having us do drills to improve our butterfly stroke. Butterfly is, without a doubt, the most demanding of the four Olympic strokes. It takes a certain sense of rhythm, good upper body strength, good technique and enough of that ole situational awareness to prevent collisions with fellow swimmers in your lane and also to prevent collisions of your fast moving hands with the unforgiving lane lines. But a good stroke does take some "wingspan." 

I've been swimming butterfly since I was six years old. That's coming on sixty two years of "hands on" experience. You'd think I'd have it all figured out by this time but ... nope. 

We swim in a circular pattern when there are two or more people in the lane. It's just like driving cars on the street. One side of the lane on the way down, flip turn, the other side of the lane going back. You have to be careful not to let your arm stroke get too wide when you are close to someone who is coming in the opposite direction. I over-compensated this morning and moved too close to the lane line and BAM! on the recovery phase of the arms in the stroke (whipping ones hands back to front to repeat the pull) the top of my hand hit the rope with extreme prejudice. The collision with the hard plastic ripped off about an inch of skin from the top of my hand. 

It hurt but no bones were broken and I was ready to keep swimming until my coach noticed "a bit" of blood running across my hand and down my arm. I decided it was a good idea to get out and staunch the bleeding. But first I took a shower to wash off the chlorine. 

The young and attentive lifeguards were ready to treat me with first aid when I exited the locker room. Sterile wipes, bandages, the works. The bleeding stopped and that was about all of the drama. I missed the last twenty minutes of the workout so, of course, I was pissed off. But I figure that after one day out and the purchase of some waterproof bandaids and I should be back in the mix and swimming on Saturday.

I'll try to be a bit more careful. I'm embarrassed since I'm always telling runners and bikers how rare it is to get injured in a swim workout. Now eating my words...

What does this have to do with photography? Well, my first thought went directly to the potential of lasting damage to the hand that clicks the shutter button on my cameras. Would my abilities to work a camera be degraded?

Of course not. It's just a bloody scrape. An actual bloody scrape, but not in the way the UK folks use the word "bloody". Just literally bloody. 

And that's what I did this morning in swim practice. (Apparently, according the the neurosurgeon swimming in the adjacent lane, skin gets thinner and more fragile as one ages. I refuse to accept that this had anything to do with aging..... it was just carelessness). 

A Small Selection of Lenses Has a Number of Benefits for Urbanscape Photography. Not Least of Which is You Have Less to Carry.

 

"When you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail."  But you get really good at finding nails and better and better at driving them home.

I have a Leica M240 camera and a Q2 camera and in so many ways I'm just realizing they are mirrors of each other....at least in the ways that I use them. When I first pondered the idea of getting a Q2 I was repeatedly stopped in my tracks by my resistance to buying a camera that "only" has on it a "fixed" 28mm lens. My traditional way of thinking about lenses and sensors came from a time when digital camera resolutions were measured in single digits and not being able to zoom in or crop an image was more or less a reality. But I was really intrigued by the Q cameras and finally metaphorically "held my nose" and bought the camera "in spite of" that 28mm lens. For months afterwards I would opine to anyone who cared to pay attention that I would love the camera so much more if it had a 35mm or 40mm lens instead. 

But they something happened. I started to play around with the in camera frame cropping. The ability to see a composition surrounded by new frame lines that would give me, in addition to the 28mm, a 35mm and a 50mm with very little reduction in actual quality --- and even a decent (but lower res) 75mm, in a pinch gave me an increased appreciation for the whole idea. As I experimented more and more I found that the 35 or so megapixels of the 35mm crop resulting in completely convincing files. Why would it not since the resolution was still higher than most of the other cameras I have in inventory, even at full frame? 

At some point I became totally comfortable considering the Q2 as a 28-50mm compact camera and have been using it that way ever since. And loving the images that come out of it at any of the three finalized angles of view. 

When I bought an M camera I thought I would mostly use it as a body with a semi-permanently attached 50mm lens. That's the way I always used my M3 camera back in the early 1980's and I postulated that it would be the same with any new or future M camera. But my experiences with the Q2 made me want more angle of view flexibility. Especially if the M was the only camera I brought along for a photographic adventure. Of course I ended up with an M kit that is, basically, a 28, 35 and 50mm system. While in a side by side comparison the Q2 blows away the usability and the quality of using a 28mm lens on the M240, if you don't do a side by side comparison you'd be forgiven for thinking your 28mm Carl Zeiss lens on a 24 megapixel M body was pretty damn good. 

But you'd also have to admit that using the 28mm with the frame lines stretched to the very edges of the camera's optical finder is a lot less pleasant than looking through the wonderful 28mm EVF finder image in the Q2. 

In the M240's maiden voyage abroad (with me) I ended up duplicating pretty much what I already have in the Q2. At least when it comes to available and usable focal lengths/angles of view.  Silly me? Not in the least. This makes the Q2 and the M240 system the almost perfect back up cameras for each other. If, God forbid, one of the cameras bit the dust or was otherwise taken out of the equation the other camera would be able to make a near seamless replacement. 

In some regards the trip to Montreal with these two cameras was a learning experience for me. And I'm not too old to learn new things. Really.

What I really came away with was my understanding that the Q2 might be the ultimate travel camera for someone who wants to travel light, have high quality files and never worry about bringing along and changing multiple lenses in the field. I learned to trust the 15+ megapixel 50mm crops in the camera and became absolutely comfortable with the 35+ megapixel 35mm crops. If I found images that worked well at 28mm then that was obviously the ultimate sweet spot.

Was it a mistake to bring along the M camera and all three of my designated system lenses? No. I mean,  how else would you compare different cameras and methods of working if you couldn't fluidly switch back and forth between the two options? Especially when not only is handling pertinent but also differences in color and image quality. 

One thing I did notice was that no matter how great the 28mm lens on the Q2 or the M240 might be I still have a preference for the 50mm angle of view. I like distilling stuff down. But as my favorite (now retired) graphic designer points out, one of my compositional weaknesses is that I do tend to crop too tight. Not enough space around subjects. Oh well. It's always a work in progress. 

Here's a smattering of images from the two cameras and their respective lenses: 

Funny. At least to me...how much difference a change in the angle of composition makes 

in the images just above and just below. The face of the mannequin takes on two 

totally different looks.

Yes. I get it. Food.

these store posters generated a revived interest for me in Halloween.

I think this might be a fun year to go to 6th St. in downtown 

Austin to see thousands of young adults parade around in costumes...

To sum up: While I'm enjoying the handling and use of the Leica M240 I'm no longer infatuated with the whole M rangefinder idea. I'll probably sell off all of the M mount lenses and the M240 and dump the cash into a second Q2 body. The main reason is that I hate traveling specifically for photography without a back up camera body. Having a duplicate Q2 or maybe a Q3 would mean the same lens, the same menus, the same batteries, the same handling, etc., etc.

At this point in my amateur career (as opposed to my commercial work) I think the range of 28 to 50mm is more than adequate. Any longer or shorter just seems like a burden. 

When I finally notch my last commercial job I have the idea of getting rid of all the cameras, lenses and lighting I kept for professional work and just enjoying the streamlined pleasure of one nicely designed and realized camera. A dream maybe but why not?

Random Color. Just walking around, getting the feel of my new orthotics in my Keen hiking shoes, reveling in the cool weather, having fun with a camera.

Shooting vacations are tricky. You have a good time while you are vacationing. You come home, sit in front of your computer hoping to find small photographic treasures. After a week at home, and the same week spent playing around with the files you've shot, there is a let down. Almost a frustration. The dissonance of not being out there photographing now. And you find yourself planning the next adventure. Maybe building on the new directions you took on the last one. Shifting your vision around based on the feedback last week's images impart. 

The interesting thing to me in being of a certain age and having enough of everything is that as your sense of security and your bucket of free time grows you find that the passion you had for making your art takes a hit. Is it because planning well for life's inevitable bumps robs the process of its necessary friction? Or does one hit a place at which you think you discover that it's all meaningless anyway? All the photographing and all of the looking and walking. 

I like to think it's temporary. The sense of disillusion. That it's just post-vacation disquiet. That the next trip will revitalize my interests.

I wonder if other photographers go through this. I presume they do. The loss of motivation scares me more than most challenges. Because, I think, after 45 years of doing photography I've built a whole life around the various imperatives of being a photographer. It's an identity. A constant. 

Interested to hear if you've experienced this kind of slump. And how you fixed it. If you did. 

I sure hope you did....

I left off some of the black and whites I intended to show in the last post. Here they are. Busy, busy.

Does it feel like everyone who used to be interested in photography is "winding down" like an automatic wristwatch lying unworn on an old nightstand? On blogs I read it seems people have moved from the "enjoyment" of photographing to the "necessity" of archiving and preserving work they did long ago. No wonder it feels like the hobby is moribund. People are gravitating from the active fun to the passive task of preservation.

I'm resisting the call to succumb to the busy work of preparing old material for an eternity that may or may not arrive. I know my family well. They are not nostalgic and sentimental. They won't spend their days after I am gone sitting on the couch in the living room paging through old albums of my photographs. There are a small number of photographs they'd like to have after my unfortunate and catastrophic decline and passing  (it's always tragic but mostly just to ourselves...) but these are at most a hundred images of family and friends. Everything else is destined, whether I want it or not, to be tossed, recycled or abandoned. And much as you'd like to think otherwise mountains of evidence suggests this will happen to your images at well. They will, over time, be lost and gone.

But really, isn't it the enjoyment of the process, the fun of the hunt and the satisfaction of people appreciating your work in the here and now that's the important/satisfying/fun/rewarding thing about photographing? Are we really so self-centered as to believe that out of 8 billion people currently on the planet, at least 2 billion of whom are photographing relentlessly, that our photos from vacations, strolls, birthday parties and "serious landscape projects" are going to be the photographic images that rise to the top? That out of the trillions of images made every year the curators will come looking for my image of a stagnant pond at the state park to ensconce in the hallowed halls of the Fine Arts? 

If this is your mindset then you'll be lucky to eventually be quite dead and immune from having to watch the near inevitable decay and disappearance of the work you've tried so hard to preserve. 

When nostalgic and sentimental writers opine on the archival preservation of their photographic work they often couch the saddling of their younger family members with the pile of images as "giving them a gift!!!" Something they will cherish for a lifetime.  We love to look at photographs of our own children. We like to look at photographs of our own experiences. We tolerate looking at photographs of other people's families. But when we hand over the physical "treasures" we've curated for our progeny what we are really doing is burdening them both physically and also psychologically. Most of them will long to winnow down and toss much of the work that we liked. And we liked it because we worked hard to create it. But our unlucky family members are paralyzed about getting rid of what they don't need or want because they remember how important the prints and negatives seemed to us. They become trapped by their understanding of our expectations. And they, for the most part, are far less infatuated with our work than we are.

Photographs are both a visual object and a psychological conundrum. In my experience the people who slavishly hold old family images close are the ones who have unresolved issues surrounding family dynamics which they hope to resolve. And it's almost as if the saved photographs of those now dead are a key to unlocking and understanding the crucial points of their family's past.

I'm constantly involved in a version of "Swedish Death Cleaning" when it comes to the boxes and filling cabinets of my work. We used to keep just about everything in the dark ages of film when there was the promise that everything might be profitable fodder/content for stock photography sales. Now that no longer really exists. I toss a couple dozen pounds of negatives, slides, CDs, DVDs and assorted other photographic content in the trash at least once a month. I think it would be nothing short of cruel to foist a million blah, blah photographs on my son and my wife. Better to make a small folder of family images and provide them before my own ability to reason runs dry. And when I do I will include a note that says: "you are under no obligation to keep these. You will create your own memories and have your own experiences. You deserve your own space in which to enjoy them. I lived well. I don't need to preserve the work. I had a wonderful time living it.  Have more fun!"

The images I'm sharing in this particular blog have no real significance to anyone but me. I enjoyed walking around in the brisk, fresh Canadian air after a Summer of unrelenting heat in Austin. I enjoyed handling a camera that is also an iconic tool. I liked playing around with cropping and post processing. But, after we've seen the pix here, and they've augmented the written word,  I would have no compunction or hesitation in reaching over with my "mouse" and deleting the folder in which they currently exist from my hard drive, altogether. They are not precious just because they are photographs. They are like a morning swim. When it's done it's done and we move on with the rest of our day. And the rest of our lives. 

You can save all your images if you want. I have more life to live. And it's a lot more fun to be out photographing then it is sitting in the studio carefully documenting the facts and dates around my own work. I've already seen yesterday's work now I want to see what there is to see NOW and TOMMOROW. 

Obsessing with the past is like sitting in the rear of a boat and staring at the wake. Better to sit in the bow and be intrigued and fascinated by what's ahead. If we can't live in the NOW, in the moment we're blessed with,  then what's the point?