In these fraught times it's always good to remember that love makes our
individual lives that much better.
I'll start with the nerdiest stuff first. My wonderful and insanely reliable iMac Pro computer needs to be replaced. Not because of any fault of its original 2017 design (purchased new in 2019) or lack of fast processors or ample memory. Nope, it needs to be replaced because it will no longer be eligible for full operating system upgrades. Eventually the apps I use most (imaging and banking) will require updates that will no longer work on this chipset (Intel Xeon W) and I'll want to keep working with the best versions of working software out there.
I'm sure someone will comment that upgrading is foolish and a plot against humanity by "them." And that they are still comfortable working on a machine running Windows 98 and running Linux Red Hat through an emulator. Oh, and they are enjoying open source, free photo software as well. Still using Zip drives. Rockin' a robust SCSI connection to a 10 meg hard drive. What more could I need?
Good for them. Not my cup of tea. Or coffee. I want stuff that requires no active modifications, gear maintenance or extra knowledge on my part to get reliable, fast and efficient results. So, I'm getting ready to plunge back into the market for a new machine. One that never needs me to open it up and remove and install new stuff. Ever. Not user upgradable? That's a feature, not a fault.
I'm been reading the latest rumor sites for upcoming Apple product announcements. I just read that they are re-introducing the iMac Pro computer and it will run the M5 Pro processor, come stock with 128 gigs of RAM, have a micro-site LED, 27 inch screen and come standard with 2 TB of SSD internal storage. Exactly what I want. At least I think it's what I want. Could be that it's a bit of overkill but then I've never been allergic to overkill in gear purchases. The base price is estimated to be around $4K which is right in line with what I paid for the current model sitting on my desk. But that was purchased with a hefty "family and friends" discount from Apple. Not available to me anymore... sigh.
My spouse bought a new, more rational, regular iMac for her home office last year, which came complete with an M4 processor, extra RAM, 2 TB of SSD storage, and a nano textured monitor screen. It's fast, and much less expensive than the iMac Pro will be. I could probably make do with one of the lower priced machines but there is always the mindset of needing to get "the last one I'll ever need to buy..." The flip side is that the lower priced machine fits into the range of something that I can re-buy as tech performance changes --- at least once every five years. And I can get it in a soft blue color (???- Okay...). And who doesn't like to buy computers at least once every five years!!!?
The third option I am considering is to buy one of the MacBook Pro 16 inch laptops. One of the new ones, just announced, with either an M5 processor or an M4 Pro processor. I don't really need the portability as I have a 14inch, M3 processor laptop sitting in the house on the dining room table and it works fine for all the errata for which it's used. The bigger, newer 16" MacBook Pro offers fast performance and less of a footprint on the desktop than an iMac. But I do think I would prefer the 27 inch screen and when I add the cost of a new Apple monitor to that of the laptop it's more expensive than just getting the machine I think I've wanted all along --- the new iMacPro. I hope the rumors are accurate. It seems fortuitous. Like the stars are lining up right for my purchase window. But there's no rush since the current machine is working just fine... still.... updates.
If you are wedded to the PC/Windows ecosystem, if you work on a Dell machine or something like that, please don't bother to tell me how much fun I would have with a soldering gun in one hand and somebody's support team on the phone in the other hand. Not ever interested in leaving the Apple OS. It's a prejudice, for sure, but it's almost always worked for me. Still have a working model of the blueberry iBook from 1998... my first laptop.
Of course, now that I'm not making a direct living from photography I guess I could always just suck it up and get an iPad, add a keyboard and get on with my life... Old habits die hard. Really hard. Anyway, that's one line of thought here in the office today...
Old Habits.
Did you ever have recurring bad dreams about missing a final exam in college? I never actually missed a final but for years after I graduated I had a series of nightmares that featured me oversleeping for a final, unable to find my pants, and running across campus in my underwear with a clutch of number two pencils in my hand, and getting to the organic chemistry final about 15 minutes before the deadline to turn in the tests. Sound vaguely familiar? If not then you have an "anxiety deficiency" which probably makes your life more enjoyable/comfortable --- but less exciting. I still remember waking up with that huge adrenaline rush from running across campus in a vulnerable state in my nightmares. And the idea that, if I failed the final, my source of expense money might be in peril.
It's been years and years since I stumbled through any variation of that university nightmare but on Tuesday night (or early Wednesday morning) I had my first remembered work/life/retirement bad dream. In the dream I'd been hired for a three day corporate event for my best client. The event was held at a large hotel. For a very long term client. In my dream I screwed up in just about every regard. The hotel was huge and kept expanding in my dream. I kept getting lost and missing mission important events that my client was adamant about me covering. Finally, by the magic of dreams I wound up, on the last day of the event in a totally different hotel and was desperately trying to find my way back to the right hotel. I could even visualize, in my dream, my client standing at the entry doors to a huge ballroom filled with dignitaries and key C-suite people, looking at her watch and freaking out --- because I was not there with my camera. And, just like in my college nightmares, my wardrobe was all wrong. I was wearing a pair of baggy cargo shorts and a pair of flip-flops and I was looking desperately for a pair of long pants and some decent shoes. Nothing ever went correctly. I woke up with a start at four in the morning with my heart racing... And I could not go back to sleep.
Yep! I commemorate this one as my first, major, retirement induced nightmare. After medicinal coffee and some time to restore my emotional equilibrium I carefully picked through everything from the day before that could have subliminally intruded on my usual, quiet, restful sleep. I finally got it. I had been working on pulling together numbers for my CPA so he could prepare my taxes. I think I was emotionally unprepared to see how hugely my income from work dropped over the course of 2025, cratering out about a month after my last job. After the last payment from the last paying client's payment arrived. It was the first concrete example of what happens when you stop working. The cash flow from business stops. Hard stop. No going back. I guess I hadn't come to grips with the course change since the previous 51 years of work had, as a primary target, the generation of bigger and better incoming cash flows.
Now I had to grapple with the idea that I'd be getting all my cash, going forward, from savings and whatever the folks at Social Security were willing to send my way. It's a sea change. And it also involves giving up the feeling that I had some sort of control over the cash flowing through my everyday life. Scary shit.
Don't worry about me. I'm fine. It's just the emotional realization and grudging acceptance of change. It'll hit you sometimes. After I psycho-analyzed myself yesterday I slept like a baby on Benadryl last night. (Don't take Benadryl to help with sleep; it increases the chances of having dementia in"senior" populations = Source: MedScape).
The old habit was to live on cash flow. With the business ending the cash flow from that source ends and the realization sinks in that you have to pivot and finance your own existence from your own funds. And that's sea change because old habits die hard... And practiced mindsets are tough to change.
I bounce around when it comes to cameras and lenses. I guess you know that by now. For the last week and a half I've been infatuated by the promise of the second most expensive lens I ever bought. That would be the Leica APO 50mm Summicron SL. It's a wonderful lens but I think when I decided to buy one I was looking through the prism of my work life; of getting a lens that would wow! me and my clients with its amazing performance. And yes, it is the sharpest lens I have ever, ever used. Just beautiful files. But....
It's heavy and for some reason I feel a ponderous responsibility to find subjects that will potentially show off not what I am capable of but what the lens and its conjoined camera are cable of delivering. It's an odd realization. Not that I'm having second thoughts about owning it (even after the retirement dream) but it can be ... overwhelming. I felt like I needed a break from its perfectionism this morning. B. was out of town, the only thing on my agenda was finishing my tax numbers and that, of course, led me to find and execute any sort of procrastinating dodge I could come up with. I decided that an early morning walk down S. Congress Ave., with a pit stop at Jo's Coffee, would be just the thing.
So, I poked around the office looking for a more casual camera and lens combination than the one I'd been using. I immediately was attracted to the anthracite finished M240 M-E rangefinder and the "cheap" Thypoch 50mm Simera lens. Just the right combo for a casual outing. A stop and go walk through the vigorous morning coffee crowds. And it was just the ticket. Like trading an Hermés Birkin Camera Bag for a worn and weathered Domke canvas bag. No expectations of the operator coming from the critical camera and lens combo of the last few days. I didn't feel obligated to perform --- or even to come back with useful images. And I found that I'd been missing the ancient rangefinder technology --- and lumbering way one uses it. Time to take time.
Economic education. running the numbers for the tax man was interesting. Back in the first twenty years of this century I'd been dropping huge amounts of money on the endless camera and lens upgrade cycle. And I presumed that this is where all the cash that wasn't strapped down to something would continue to go ad infinitum. But now I'm convinced that the biggest drain on most people's finances has little to do with buying the occasional, used Leica or lower cost 3rd party lens and much more to do with the ever growing number of subscriptions to .... everything in modern life.
Netflix, Prime, Smugmug, WeTransfer, Apple TV, maintenance contracts, concierge doctor services, Adobe subscriptions, Patreon cash leaks, mobile phones, landlines, and so much more. That's the real drain on budgets. Expenses hidden by consumers not paying attention to the aggregate costs that keep rising while new ones keep appearing. A guy came by the house to see if I wanted to have the windows cleaned. A very small business. And yes, I was interested. I asked the price and he took me through his process. The introductory service was X but it was predicated on us signing up for a quarterly, full house window cleaning in perpetuity. That's a quick way to add a thousand dollars to the outflow annually .... But it's really the tip of the subscription economy. Everyone is counting on us not to pay attention. But am I rushing to cancel Netflix? Naw, there's still some stuff I haven't finished watching yet... And I like my doctor. And Lightroom Classic....
Waiting for Leica to come out with a subscription model so I can buy a camera, pay a monthly fee and upgrade seamlessly every time they bring out a new camera model... NOT.
Working for free at Jo's Coffee. I wear a camera over my shoulder just about everywhere I go. Fancy restaurants? No. Movie theaters? No. In the pool? No. Just about everywhere else? yes. So, today I was walking down South Congress Ave. And when I crossed a side street, heading for Jo's for a much needed cup of "Joe" and a pistachio croissant, I was stopped by a group of seven or eight young women, all wearing the same event oriented t-shirts. They wanted to know if I could take a photograph of them, in a group, in front of the famous green wall that has a spray painted message in red that reads, "I love you so much!" I've come to believe that this particular wall and its message has become one of Austin's top tourist destinations. No, really.
Anyway I'm always happy to oblige when people ask nicely. They handed me one of their mobile phones with the photo app already queued up, and spread out in front of the wall. I rearranged them a bit, shot from an eye level perspective and also a lower angle. Cajoled them into smiling in a more genuine way and joked around. Then I handed their phone back and asked them to approve the images before I left; just in case we needed to do a reshoot.
"These are amazing!" They said. "Almost like having our own professional photographer!!!" They gathered around the woman holding the phone and all agreed. They thanked me and I went about the serious business of getting coffee.
This same sort of thing seems to happen to me a lot. I can't count how many times I've been asked to photograph a couple in front of a monument or a group in front of a favorite business. It's always fun and I always wonder what they would say if they knew...
(For the archly literal.... I do not work at Jo's. I do not work for free. It was just a fun headline to open a quick story with). Sad that I have to include disclaimers...
Taxes nearly complete. One more day. And, perhaps the last year in which to itemize. Should be fun to shear off a huge part of the bookkeeping workload over the course of 2026. That's the plan anyway.
Hope everyone is well. KT
shorts and cowboy boots. Hmmmm.
rules to live by. And no martini glasses in the shower either...
they almost had me until I got to the habenero jam...
What a wild combination of stuff.
