I first became aware of pickle ball when my swim club re-configured an outdoor basketball court, installed by a vote from a previous board of directors, into a pickle ball court. Much smaller, dimensionally, than a tennis court and with a similar net crossing it and dividing it into two sides, the court is like a tiny tennis court for pixies who don't wish to move far. Which is probably a benefit to the people I have seen engaged in the game. They seem not to want to run very far or very fast when playing. They are further helped in this endeavor by the construction of the balls which are plastic and have holes in them. What we would have called a "whiffle ball." It's hard to imagine a person sustaining an injury from an errant whiffle ball strike as the balls are neither dense nor heavy. And have no sharp corners with which to put an eye out...
To my mind this new game is analogous to "water aerobics", a pass time for people who are not happy to "break a sweat" and who communally conspire never to raise their heart rates about 80 bpm. Although just spending time in the water might be more healthful.
Pickle Ball arrived on the scene and into the public consciousness as quickly as did Rep. George Santos. And delivered to me the same feelings. I have just seen my first ads for real estate developments which brag about their shiny, new Pickle Ball courts. No doubt this will join bowling in the Olympics. Games shabbily masquerading as sports. Sports ingenuously masquerading as fitness.
Maybe this droll game was introduced to distract people from inflation, the threat of recession and the instability of global alliances right now. If so it's, in my mind, a poor substitute for just heading to the local bar and getting plastered. At least in those instances there is money changing hands and at least tangentially buoying the local economies.
I have nothing against people wanting to waste their time and energy. I have the same regard for croquet and snooker. But I draw the line when people who are soon to be demoted from friends to acquaintances, or from acquaintances to Trumpian, "I never met them. I have no idea who they are or where they came from!" badger me to join them in their misguided pursuit of whiffle activities. Or try to engage me in conversations about the positive attributes of whifflage. Or breathlessly (not as a result of pickle ball) exclaim that "it's the fastest growing sport in the country..."
I can only imagine that this is yet another attempt to assuage the boredom of traditional religion by creating a (semi) active activity to replace it.
I'm too busy to start pushing a legislative initiative to ban pickle ball but wanted my gentle readers to understand how pernicious this new activity is. This, along with other aimless faux sports, are dangerous because they give rise to the assumption that people are getting some sort of healthy exercise.
There are few true sports. They consist mostly of running, swimming, track and field events, maybe basketball because the players run a lot, and, of course, swimming. Did I already mention swimming?
Pickle ball serves to demean the real sports. We must be on guard.
Alert: quasi, but not completely quasi satire. Play PB if you want to just try not to talk about it in polite company. We really aren't interested.
Do you play? Was it a court mandated punishment?
13 comments:
There is implicit in this a broad streak of disdain for people with limitations. I doubt that it is intended.
Certainly not intended and if it seems implicit then I have written it poorly. I meant to suggest that it's a poor pass time. A sport solution looking for a problem to fix. And a general jab at people who are fit but on the whole lazy.
Nasty pasttime. Nasty. I was visiting a place in Tucson this winter that had pickleball courts, and it sounded like a bunch of people were out beating rugs with an old timey rug beater.
I probably shouldn't mention it, but I was walking out to a golf tee as I passed the pickleball courts. 8-)
I may be imaging it, but it seems to me that Mr. T becomes more cranky whenever B is away.
Bingo. Absolutely. Sorry about that... Just is.
Agreed, Olympic Sports should glorify and pit young, extremely fit humans against one another in trials of strength, stamina, guile and dexterity…roughly. However your list of sports overlooked the world’s favorite sport: Soccer (Futbol, aka kickball), and the USA’s faves football and baseball. You also overlooked a Sport on the cusp of Olympic Glory, the aptly named Cornhole (aka bean bag toss). Pastimes are often “sports” enjoyed as a leisure activity, maybe that’s Pickle Ball, with a modicum of exercise, or golf, which is pretty good exercise if you lug 25 lbs of clubs around 18 holes instead of riding a cart with a 12 pack on ice. Competitive sports are always ruthlessly inclined to favor those without physical limitations, whereas pastimes are friendly and open to all. The Pickle Ball you discuss does seem like a pastime, a mongrel badminton tennis hybrid. But folks will make everything a competition. I suppose it’s ok to make more games Olympic Sports. Such as cribbage. Or not.
If you want a really scaled down version of tennis and prefer singles, then ping pong should be your sport. Doubles in ping pong is possible but is tough to pull off for beginners. I much prefer the sounds of ping pong over pickle ball!
As a lifelong, avid tennis player nothing makes my ass bleed more than seeing pickleball lines painted on a beautiful tennis court. I don't care for pickleball and I also don't care if other people play it, to each their own. But keep your damn pickleball court off my tennis court.
I’ll be leaving the house soon to drop off some artwork downtown. It will be hung at our annual juried art show. Then I’ll be headed to the pickleball courts. After playing, some of us will probably go to lunch. Should be a nice day.
condolences.
Rick Reilly, over at the Washington Post has a similar opinion about Pickleball as you. And me. If you subscribe to WAPO you can read his take on it here ->
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/05/08/pickleball-hate-reasons/
Tried pickle ball once. Nearly died of sheer boredom. The sound and the tiny-ness of it all made me so sad.
Again --- baseball is a game, not a sport. A dumb game. But not a sport.
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