I heard so much misinformation before going to get my first dose of Moderna vaccine that I thought I might bleed out on the spot. Or that a few hours later all of my DNA would dissolve and be replaced by Lemur DNA. Or that I would become neurotic (but how can you be double neurotic?). Or that a cabal of sinister dark state hooligans would drain my bank accounts. Or that the nano-transmitters in the vaccine would mess up my wi-fi reception. Or that I would start vomiting newsprint and be unable to stop. Or that I would grow a second head which would try to turn on the original head and bite it. Or that I would become a zombie (been there, done that). Or that the vaccine was poison and only Q'Anon could give me the antidote.
I'm happy to say that none of these things happened. Well, I have no way of knowing about the DNA but I haven't morphed into an endangered species so that's some comfort.
Here's what happened this morning: When I woke up I took a battery of I.Q. tests and find that now I am 30 points smarter than I was yesterday. I am also ten years younger. I decided to walk up to the neighborhood coffee shop but I felt so good that I ended up sprinting to a nice place about ten miles from here instead. I lost five pounds of fat overnight and gained ten pounds of rock solid muscle. My waist shrank from a size 32 to a size 28. When I checked my retirement account this morning it had tripled overnight. My wife told me that I am adorable. As did all 17 of my mistresses; newly acquired; just since the vaccine.
But it doesn't stop there. My neighbor's car had a flat tire and no tire jack. I didn't mind in the least holding the rear quadrant of the car off the ground while he changed the tire. But I will say that those Chevy Suburbans get heavy after a while.
But yeah. My right shoulder is just a bit sore. I guess you have to take the bad with the good.
That's all I've got on this subject. Do what you want. Your results may vary.
Oh, one last thing; for a limited time yesterday, at least here in Austin, everyone who got a vaccine also got a free Leica M10R. Nice.
Added on Thursday to make something clear. This is directly from the CDC website: