I had an interesting day. I discovered that Ben and I are absolutely great at shooting very sharp, clean and interesting video footage (file-age?). We're also pretty darn good at getting clean audio in our video stuff. But I'm coming to grips with the fact that I just absolutely hate to edit video. Especially unscripted video. Most emphatically hate unscripted video. So much so that I stood up from the desk and went to the Blanton Museum in a fit of pure procrastination.
Here's how I wish every (commercial) interview would go: We'd set up cameras, lights and microphones and the talent would come into the scene. We would aknowledge, and they would agree, that we're aiming to get a specific message across in a set time. The talent would have memorized a script and practiced it. The script would be made up of perfect sound bites that all fit nicely together. Additionally, there would be a teleprompter synced up on each camera; just in case.
An interviewer would cue the talent (after we're all set) and the talent would do two or three perfect takes of each phrase, sentence or bullet point, pausing five seconds between takes to make it easy on me to edit. Every interview would take place inside an anechoic chamber and we'd add canned room ambiance later. During every critical juncture of the interview process all the extraneous people (anyone who is not the on-camera talent, the sound engineer or the camera operators) would be called away to deal with an emergency phone call, or emergency potty break, or they would just go outside to smoke a cigarette, or stand on a street corner and give every passerby their two cents worth on anything at all.
There would be wonderful craft service and the Champagne and caviar would flow. But most importantly the client would speak the magic words, "We have this great editor we'd love to use on this project. Can you just send them the footage? Can you send us the bill? Oh, what are we saying? I think this is enough..." as they pull wads of hundred dollar bills and gleefully shove it into our waiting hands.
But no..... it just doesn't work that way. At least not often enough....
People in front of cameras seem to have a super powerful ability to stretch out whatever answer they need to give from one simple sentence to an endless soliloquy. They help us fill up even the biggest memory cards and then, once the cards are full, they finally deliver the perfect one liner.
No matter when we film; even in the dead of night, there will be audio interference of the most profound and jarring nature. A fleet of chubby Harley riders revving up their hogs at the accounting firm's building down the street, at 3 in the morning. A cute couple trying out their his and hers chainsaws just outside the door of our location. An impromptu live fire exercise on the next block. Each mortar round hitting just as the talent finally gets the name of the product correct.....
The electrical power in the (client) chosen location will be iffy. The air conditioning will be about as effective as a small, slow fan blowing over an ice cube in a sauna; but as loud as a 747 taking off. The beautiful background? It generally turns out to be scared and worn wood panelling left over from the 1970's along with the orange shag carpeting which makes the custom white balance so.... special.
And the craft service? Whatever they have on sale at the local Seven/Eleven. Twinkies and Lite beer? Again?
But I'll gladly put up with all of that if I don't have to do the edit. Three cameras means three times the crap to wade through. I knew I should have studied harder and become a psychiatrist. At least I could take a stab at solving my own masochism....
Just random thoughts in the middle of an editing session. I'll get Ben in here. He'll fix it.