"Hi. Will you please send us your photograph of a very famous film director, which you originally shot for Elle Magazine, for use free?"

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Oh boy! What a wonderful e-mail with which to start my day. A London-based music magazine got in touch. They are doing a "Big Feature" on XXXXXXX XXXXXX (world famous movie producer/writer/director) and they "just loved my photograph of him" and would love to get my permission to use it. Seems they were going to do a big, assigned photo shoot with him but his publicist told them that he couldn't fit it into his schedule..... "That's why we're asking you to donate for FREE!!!" (what happened to the assignment budget???).

"But we are willing to give you a credit line!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not absolutely sure what "wanker" means but I think it might apply to the editorial staff at this particular magazine.

We love to work for free here at VSL. But only for charities that serve needy or at risk children. People who can't really make a go of it without some help from the rest of us. We don't provide free services or licenses to silly pop magazines that sell ads, monetize the shit out of their websites and otherwise make a tasty profit (apparently on the backs of struggling artists...) for their shareholders.

But----I did my due diligence first. I called my bank to see if I could make a house payment with my potential credit line. Nope. Then I printed out the e-mail and took it with me to Starbucks to see if it was worth a large coffee and a chocolate croissant. Nope. They'd go a short, regular coffee and no pastry but I didn't like that deal either...