7.03.2020

It's Friday. It's Hot. Time to catch up.

My writing must seem morose lately because a number of kindly readers have called, texted, and e-mailed to "check in" with me and to offer "words of encouragement" and "emotional support." I want to thank everyone who responded to what is mostly just my bad writing. But the compassion extended seemed real and is appreciated.

I want my VSL readers to know that I am no more or less frustrated, mildly depressed, and somewhat apprehensive than any other adult who can still crack open a newspaper or spend too much time looking at news feeds online... But, I am not globally out of sorts or impacted as much as I am topically. And I am pretty good at compartmentalizing most emotional baggage while embracing what my friends and family might call a natural exuberance and a joy of many small and large things in life. I am not gobbling down Prozac nor am I paralyzed by angst or sadness. I'm going to be as okay as the rest of you --- at least if we average everyone in our demographic together.

I am, however, wrestling with how the pandemic is changing my work life. I think a lot of people whose work intersects with their art are going through the same thoughts. To wit, How much will the business of photography change? As more friction is added to the process of taking images for business will there be an inflection point at which clients decide that the added cost and complexity makes continuing the old way of doing things prohibitive? Will the pandemic have forced companies to find new ways to acquire content and will these changes mute the need for external suppliers to do the work? Will the people we've worked with in the past retain their jobs and will they still have the budgets to spend for the kind of work we do? Has the look and feel of images for popular culture changed both in value and style?

My spouse advises me that I should stop thinking in terms of making money and instead reconfigure my brain around the idea of What would you do with your time and energy if you never needed to earn one more cent?  To which I generally answer: I'd spend my time making beautiful images of interesting people. But it's sad to know, in the moment, that I can neither do the kind of work I enjoy in exchange for money nor the kind of photographic play I like to do for my own satisfaction.

People who comment here and suggest new ways to morph my business in order to continue to make money are missing the point. I don't think I really need to do the business as much as I know I really don't want to change the look and feel of my work. I'm not going to start doing used car commercials, or steal work from Peter Lik by doing odd landscape work. I'm not going to segue to shooting weddings or making cinegraphs. I'm just not.

I guess my strategy is to wait out the initial, societal trauma of the pandemic and, at some point in the middle future, sniff the air, check the tea leaves and figure out a way forward. To rush into making pronouncements and plans seems a bit presumptuous. We don't have much clarity of what life will look like a month or even a year from now.

Here's what life looks like right now: I get up every morning around 5:20 and turn off the alarm I set the night before. I've been hitting the early swim practices at the pool (6 a.m.) for nearly eight weeks now and though I set an alarm clock each night for 5:30 I have yet to be awoken by the chirping audio of the phone. I seem to have an internal alarm clock that comes into play about 15 minutes prior. 

I drag myself out of bed, ingest about 20 ounces of water mixed with iced tea and then head to the pool. I swim with a group of nice people. The age range is lower 30's to a bit over 70. I am obviously not the youngest person in the pool but nor am I the elder of the bunch. Comforting, in a way. 

Since it's too early to be awake and chatty I find that I'm getting a better, harder workout in than I have in the recent past. That's a good thing. But less chit-chat is less social so that's a bad thing. 

In moments of indulgence I'll head by McDonald's after workout and get a big coffee and a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit. This is, maybe, a twice a month occurrence. The rest of the time I make a healthier breakfast at home. Either way this is the point at which I should have more personal control in order to reduce anxiety and frustration. I should NOT read the news while having breakfast... But I do. 

At 8:35 a.m. I check the stock market news and see if I am richer or poorer than I was the day before. Belinda tells me to check my portfolio a couple times a year and NOT a couple times a day. When the stocks and index funds are up I'm elated. When they swoon I fall into a temporary funk. Not a clever way to start out the day...

The rest of the day is ultimately unstructured. I try to write a blog post every day to stay in touch with the friends I've made here and to keep my fingers and brain limber. My dear, late dog, aka: Studio Dog taught me how to take naps in the afternoon and she ingrained in me the habit of laying down on the couch in the living room, under the big ceiling fans, and chilling out for 30 minutes each day. It's not necessary to go to sleep, just to lay quietly and try to empty out my brain.

Since the early part of March Belinda and I have eaten ever single evening meal together. And that always gets me thinking about gratitude. 

I am grateful for so many things. For my fun career. My wonderful family. My good health. My dear friends and the countless solid acquaintances who are just waiting to be friends. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about whether or not I can afford to buy an interesting lens. I'm grateful that I can still swim an acceptable butterfly stroke at 64. So grateful that I'm filled with energy and curiosity. 

When I go to bed at night I don't spend sleepless moments thinking about what "I should have done" or "what the future holds."  Instead, I take an inventory of all the fun a wonderful things, big and small, that have happened to me or with me over the course of the day. And I generally fall asleep with a smile on my face...

I got in my car and drove around today. After swim practice and breakfast I tossed a GX-8 with a modest wide angle lens on it in the little, white Subaru Forester and drove in a big circle. Out Highway 290 thru Dripping Springs, Texas and then on to Hwy 281.  I followed the highway south to Blanco, Texas and then headed East on the road to Henly, Texas which took me back, the scenic route, to Dripping Springs. There's several things I like about the town but the thing I never miss is stopping in a the self-serve car wash to spray the dust, dirt and bugs off my car. Today the Forester is sparkly and I can actually see the gloss of the white paint.

I took the camera, lens and a polarizing filter because I thought I might see something new and different. But I didn't. The ride alone was the real draw for me. The car wash was just the cherry on top.

Sometimes the camera comes out and sometimes it doesn't. But as long as the drive is fun and continuous it's good for your distant vision, you sense of freedom and it's even good for your car battery.

When I got home I ordered sandwiches from a favorite shop and picked them up curbside.

Our governor finally (FINALLY!!!) mandated that everyone wear masks when out in public and, so far, I'm seeing pretty good compliance. The parks and even the hiking trails are closed down this weekend to try and tamp down virus spread.

I'm trying to recharge and get motivated to work on something/anything fun. My friend, James, wrote a script for a short video. The issue, of course is not being able to work safely on the project with a cast and crew. We commiserated over coffee. But boy, will we have some stories to tell when this is over.

Stay fit, healthy and happy. Feel the joy in what you have. Play with the cameras that you love. Savor every bite. And, look for another blog post on Sunday or Monday.



17 comments:

Michael Matthews said...

You're right about it being good for the battery - that driving around thing. I should do more of that. Topped off the gas tank in my 16-year-old Honda CRV last week for the first time since February 25. It took 7 1/2 gallons. Four months. I gotta get out more.

ODL Designs said...

Uncertainty can be quite trying. I spent the last two days speaking to all my clients at a large conglomerate. Next week I have more scheduled to let them know about our reboot and what we are up to.

Aside from that just keep fit Kirk, I remind myself the second world war lasted years not months and killed tens of millions... We have the same resilience our grandparents had, we have simply had to exercise it less.

JC said...

I'm lucky in that my work process hasn't changed -- I've worked at home for thirty years -- and the prospects for sales are just fine. But: the days are clicking by relentlessly, one very much the same as the last. Once a week I fill up my weekly-calendar pill box, and it seems like I'm filling it up every other day, instead of once every eight days. No restaurants, no get-togethers with friends, not much wandering through town, and not much to see there anyway. Can't travel. New Mexico now has a fourteen day quarantine for anybody coming from out-of-state, no matter the mode of travel. Santa Fe is a tourist town almost without tourists, and as much bitching and moaning people do about tourists, it gets sorta lonely without them. I guess the word for it is, "morose," or something like that. People trapped between the virus and bankruptcy, most of them trying to do the right thing, but, nevertheless, desperate. I've never seen anything even approaching this, and if you listen to the medical people, it will quite likely get worse. I won't blame anybody on a public forum like this, but I've got somebody in mind.

JC

Edward Richards said...

1) Listen to your wife.

2) How about getting a long lens doing COVID-19 portraits/environmental portraits in the same way you have been doing socially distanced coffee with friends?

Romano Gtti said...

Hi,
From one of your unknown friends out there, thanks to taking the time for writing to us.

Even from the point of view of a person who is still working as ever, if only in a different way (I am an University prof), this pandemic is really stressing on a social level - I really miss the daily contact with colleagues and students (especially the ones doing research with me) - it seemed a very strange thing to say just six month ago.

It will end. Later than I hoped, but it will.

Romano (from Madrid, which is in a better shape now, but if we start again to act as a idiotic bunch, as it seems to, will go back in lock down before I can spend my trekking vacation next month...)

Patrick Dodds said...

Thanks for keeping on posting Kirk. One of the things I'm trying to get out of the habit of doing / thinking is recreating the things I used to enjoy in the hope that they will once more satisfy me. Case in point, near where I live is Kew Gardens, a sprawling botanical garden with huge Victorian glasshouses and a Georgian palace. The glasshouses and the palace are closed but the gardens themselves are open - timed entrance, limited numbers and so forth, but open. However, wandering round them, which I have loved for years, is now a different experience: with all the closed buildings and the coffee concessions shuttered, well, it is kind of depressing despite the beauty of the surroundings. Much more enjoyable is walking in open countryside, something I rarely used to do but which now is a liberation and a revelation.

As we're in a new paradigm, like you, I'm trying to adjust, but letting go of the old is hard even though there are new activities that can bring momentary contentment.

Anonymous said...

Good to hear you're okay. I felt that you were caught up in the same hokey cokey as the rest of us... Caught somewhere between lockdown and release.

I've been lucky enough to be able to work solidly since this all began. I can do my work from home, though I never used to. I'll keep some aspects of my new working life, but am missing the non screen contact which I relied on so heavily before.

As to your work and art, I'd just give you the little challenge. You could still take photos of beautiful people - outside, in masks.

I get that it's not how you want to work. I also get that even working around the challenges might not be fun. In which case, feel free to ignore me. But maybe it wouldn't be as dispiriting as you think. Eitherwhichway it'd be an interesting momento to take from these singular times. I'd say your finest portraiture has come from the times you have challenged yourself (from reading this for years). Whether you feel excited for that challenge I guess is what will decide the issue.

Your writing is one of my refuges from the news. I, like yourself should be avoiding it more... But am in that bad habit.

Mark

Kurt Friis Hansen said...

The world has changed - and your spouse is probably right.

If you assume, that business as usual is not a viable option in the near or medium future - if ever - you’ll have to come up with alternatives, workarounds or even some bright ideas. They may include, what your spouse suggests.

Adjusting to wearing a mask, keeping distance and extended the use of alcohol - not inward, dummy ;-) - and sitting back and waiting for problems to just go away at some point, is no solution. If it happens, then you’ll have no trouble coming up to speed again, even if you implement a new regime, but... what if “as usual” is going to be different?

Here’s an example involving a completely different, hard hit businesses.

I recently looked at the flights in CPH airport. Traffic is opening up again. All airlines seem exuberant - things are looking good, the future is bright and messages like that flourish. Fact on that day was around 40 flights instead of the ordinary around 800 flights on the same day the year before.

A few realistic voices assume, that we have to enter at least 2022, even 2023 before “as usual” may turn up again. Very few accept, that the world has changed. That the new “usual” may not completely match the old version.

One indication of change, was an article in the German “manager magazine” 02JUL2020, where the boss - Mr Oliver Bäte - of Allianz - Europe’s largest insurer - states, that they would realistically only need 50% of their business travel in the future, and around 30% less office space (full article in German: https://www.manager-magazin.de/unternehmen/allianz-chef-oliver-baete-will-laenger-im-homeoffice-bleiben-a-d5f8e61e-f8c4-4099-935f-4ee71759cf47).

He’s probably not the only one deciding on change, that would never have taken place, unless the experience was forced upon him/them, and it turned out, that some of the new ways were both doable, practical and saving costs in both money and especially time (the latter can never be recovered).

He may “only” achieve savings of - let’s say - 40% of the business travel, or it may turn out to be even 60% - the future will tell. It’s the overall picture, that counts. Ideas, thoughts and new practical and - now - proven alternatives are seriously contemplated. And beginning to be implemented as in “to stay”!

From relatively simple things, like office space (home office), business travel (video conferencing) to supply lines (diversity in production lines) as well of more buffer stock locally. Just-in-time had severe down-sides, it turned out.

The world (was) changed! Just like that. Whether we like it or not. The rest is up to you (and us).

Yoram Nevo said...

Hi Kirk -
I like reading your posts.
I learn new words - "segue".
It's fun to notice the cultural differences - "the little, white Subaru Forester".
What we call here (Israel) a "family car", you (US) call "compact economy car".
I get inspired from your endless energy.
I hear you. If only I would listen some time . . .
Regards, Yoram

Paul said...

I’m ultra lucky that I’m still busy and working from home, so even though I can empathise with your predicament I definitely haven’t experience dealing with it. Maybe you could look at writing another book or doing online portraiture classes like Annie Leibovitz, Peter Hurley, Sue Bryce etc. it would help get your creative side working and maybe bring in enough money to find your coffee purchases. We are living in extraordinary times and like previous comments indicate, future normal may be quite different to the past. I wish you, Belinda and Ben all the best in these difficult times.

Robert Roaldi said...

Not just good for the battery, but driving around scrapes surface rust off brakes although that may be less of an issue in the US south. But it's good for the system to pump fluids through pipes and hoses at operating temperature, prevents parts from drying out. Does your brain good to look at different things too. We've been going out a couple of times per week to check out nearby towns, see what's happening out in the country.

scott kirkpatrick said...

Fortunately the stock market is mostly up these days -- Elate! But for no good reason I can come up with -- Swoon! Your wife has the right idea. Boring investments, checked at most quarterly... And tell yourself that if they reinvest automatically, they will take advantage of any dips.

Chris Beloin said...

Greetings Kirk-
First, Given your excellent health and exercise routine, plus longevity in your family line, you could expect to live into your 90's - of course alzheimer's would be a game changer in this scenario, so keep your mind in its best shape.

Second, many of my clients (myself included) are small business owners and we spent years worrying about the next revenue check, because it was essential to our survival. After decades, it is very hard to swap over to the new reality of having enough for the rest of our lives. From our conversations, you are already in this new reality, but your business mind has not quite made that adjustment. It will come eventually.

Finally, keep up the blog as I enjoy your photography.

Thanks - Chris in Wisconsin

Jason Hindle said...

These days will pass, but not without cost. I don't often give praise to our Prime Minister (Boris Johnson), and I'm not about to, but kudos to the speech writer who came up with the perfect words to describe where we are, globally: Between the flash and and thunderclap. In the photography/film-making, I would hope the kind of bespoke images and films you craft will still have a market. The market will be different though.

Ray said...

I'm only halfway through the article and haven't read any of the comments, so I may be WAY off base here, but let me say I admire that you put your entire life and personality out for us all to comment on, and I doubly admire that you absorb the comments without getting your feelings hurt - too much anyway.

I'm a perfectly awesome and wonderful person, but I'm really not that interesting. Nobody would want to read my day to day thoughts about anything, and even if they did I'd get grumpy if they criticized or disagreed with me. You are really good about that sort of thing.

Happy 4th of July to all of us. May the world be a better place this time next year.

Ray said...

OK, I've finished reading everything posted up until this point. The VSL article was awesome. Your spouse is mostly right but a little bit wrong about checking your stock values X number of times a day.

I wish this were Facebook so I could click LIKE for almost every comment above. You have a bunch of really smart and well thought out followers.

jorge said...

Kirk, I could not help but reflect on my own experience and thoughts over the last few months and see some parallels to yours. Good to know that you are still getting some enjoyment from the little things in life. Keep up the exercise routine. Turn the news off when you´ve had enough. And, thanks for the posting.

You might get a kick out of this, or at least I hope you do. During this challenging period of time, I had what I consider to be a ¨Kirk Tuck¨ moment, which was purchasing not one but two cameras in a span of less than one month. I justified this to myself because, after all, both were used and the prices were right. Although I have chased butterflies for years, I started focusing on birds and have gotten all sorts of fun...as well as therapeutic value... out of it.

Getting in the car and going somewhere, like you did, sounds like a terrific idea. Like the posting from Michael Matthews above, I have barely gone through a tank of gasoline since February---most of the time the cars are hooked up to tenders to keep the batteries from dying. The thought has been crossing my mind to go visit state parks during the week, and your posting has reinforced that notion.