2.05.2014

It's a cold night in Austin. We don't sit outside when it's cold. The wind goes right through our flip flops and makes our feet chilly.

A cold November day in Paris.

I know. You've written to tell me. It's minus 276 degrees in your home city. The polar bears are digging through your trash cans. Your four wheel drive vehicle is locked under thirty tons of black ice and you've been without power for weeks.

But it's a matter of context. You signed on for that kind of abuse when you stubbornly stayed north or foolishly moved there. We didn't sign up for this kind of meteorological abuse. We don't have the parkas lined with the down of a hundred geese. We don't have the boots that are bigger than camera bags, in fact, we barely have heaters. They are an afterthought in our air conditioning systems. 

So we're hunkered down and burning the furniture in the fireplace to stay warm. It's supposed to get down to the low 20's in the hill country tonight. Do you have any idea how cold I'll feel when I walk from the locker room to the outdoor pool in the morning? It's going to be raw. But at least the pool will be heated to 82(f). And the locker room concierges will have the hot towels ready when we get out. But really! Is this any way for people to live? 

Think I'm being "insensitive"?  You'll get your turn when Summer comes and we have another season with over 100 days over 100 degrees. With the humidity. Then you can gloat.

13 comments:

Ron White said...

Can't wait for retribution..... Writing from near Red Rocks Park, Colorado 😊

Joe Kashi said...

It's been warmer much of the time here in Alaska. Our polar bears are so confused and depressed that they've become bi-polar bears.

Seriously, though, I very much enjoy VSL. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was very un-Texan to whine like that.

It's a matter of context. The weather gets colder than usual once in a while. So put more clothes on, go to the store and buy a heater or warm enough clothes. If your local stores don't have any, ask them to order some from their stubbornly foolish colleagues in the North, or order them yourself online.

The foolish people in the North have chosen to adapt their wardrobe to changing weather and seasons, but apparently the people in the South are too stubborn to do so, and foolishly stay cold through the cold weather.
You certainly signed for that, too, so stop whining. ;-p

Carlo Santin said...

This from your Canadian reader: eat me.

Anonymous said...

Well, while I do live where “real” cold exists, I will attempt to help you through this “horrid” time the best way I know how.

I suggest a hamburger… A real one, not the product of arches and crowns. One moulded by a creative, talented individual who cares. Created in a place intimate enough to savour the aroma of crackling beef on a flat top, weighted down by a brick (or such weight). Where the juices bubble around the darkening crispy edges melding with cheese while the fresh bun waits, browning beside it on the flat top, the perfect chauffeur for the sensual delight

Look at that burger… then prepare yourself, and with both hand, cradle it gently and then take that burger into yourself… taste the simple, yet elegant flavours, become one with that burger… feel the warmth radiating from within, chasing away the chill… the fear that wolves may come down from the hills will be banished

Then, and only them, take your most burger-like camera (the G6 should do perfectly) feel the burgery-ness of it, and go gather us northerners some pictures of freezing Texans… their frozen, contorted, panicky faces. If you have followed the path with sincerity, all pictures may be keepers…

arg said...

We just had a pleasant spell of 43, 45, 46, 45, 40. Celcius. But no humidity, so we're thankful really, here in Adelaide.

Kirk Tuck said...

Note to self: Polartec lined sandals. And maybe a thicker t-shirt...

Make sure the coffee is hot.

Okay, so it's 27 this morning. No rain. No snow. None forecast. We get a call from Ben's school. The start is delayed for two hours because of "frigid conditions." Seriously. Now that's wimpy.

Anonymous said...

from New Hampshire...

poor baby !

Jim Simmons said...

Welcome to Wellington, New Zealand, Kirk. Lowest temp on record - 32 degrees F, highest - 86 F. And no Texans (says a boy from Arkansas. ;-) )

Mike Shwarts said...

A friend I know in Wisconsin told me one of his coldest winters was spent in Austin. Just like summer, it's the humidity. :) Not much warmer up here east of Dallas.

Gregg Mack said...

Well, I thought it was a pretty funny post, Kirk. I chuckled loud enough that my wife asked what the heck was I looking at!

Anthony Bridges said...

This morning in Dallas the thermostat had 16 F. We had a light dusting of snow as well. Surprisingly, the schools stayed opened. I can deal with this better than the 100 F summer misery days. Blech! It'll be 58F by Saturday.

Scott said...

So strange that the temperature would vary in places. Here in San Francisco it is pretty much a constant: 63 F almost every day of the year. The fog is unpredictable though--keeps it interesting.