6.11.2018

Where the heck is Kirk?




Hey. I drove to San Antonio on Weds. for a meeting, got a call from my dad’s cardiologist, rushed dad from assisted living to the hospital. He has a pacemaker/ICD with cellular telemetry that indicated ten cardiac arrests in the middle of the night. The ICD revived him each time. I’ve been  sleeping on a chair in his room since then. Being there makes it easier on him and the nurses because his dementia is exacerbated by the absence of familiar faces and routines. It is taking a toll on me and reduces blogging as a priority. Dad is getting discharged today (finger crossed) and things will return to normal soon. I sure miss swim practice. And I hate writing this on a cellphone. 

I’d very much appreciate any supporting and well intentioned comments.

With a bit of luck you’ll hear more from me soon! Kirk

39 comments:

Mike said...

Hey Kirk,

Family is way more important than anything. Your priorities are solid, and you're a good man for being there to make him comfortable. I hope your siblings appreciate what you're doing.

I wish you and your dad well.

Mike

Kirk Tuck said...

Hard to think of photography at the moment....

Doug Clark said...

Hang in there Kirk! your doing great. Stressful to be sure but that stuff that is important should be.

Kind regards, Doug

William Collinson said...

Kirk,

Our summer kicked off with my Wife's mother back in the hospital, and a skilled nursing facility, and back to hospital, and so forth. She lives in Vegas, so flights and hotels and navigating the medical challenges, family challenges, and almost crazy growth in population and traffic out there since we left in 2010.

So with a full understanding of the difficulties involved in managing aging parents, wishing you the very best. Hope by the time you read this that your Dad is settled back into his normal environment and all are able to rest a bit easier.

BC

robert quiet photographer said...

Wish you both the best, family is important! Be strong!
robert

Craig said...

Under the circumstances I'd be worried more if you had actually been blogging about photography all this time. :)

Best wishes for your dad's health and a return to normal daily life for you.

James Weekes said...

Taking care of your own is above all other tasks. So glad it was caught and, fingers double crossed, fixed. The pool and the cameras will wait, as will we readers.

Jack said...

Been there. It can be tough. Fortunately I was local, as were 2 sisters, one of whom is an RN. She handled the medical conversations. The accountant sister handeled the finances

I just took pictures.

Cheers

Allan said...

It's a tough situation. From a long distance, it seems you have had a good relationship with your father. You speak well of him, at any rate. If that is so, then at least some of what you are as a photographer, perhaps even more, comes from him. You honor him, and are making hard choices. No one will fault you for giving him the attention he needs. Your compassion for his confusion around too many strangers is touching. I've been in similar places with my own parents, now deceased. I don't know if you are a praying man, but if you don't object, I will pray for your passage through this difficult terrain.

Julian Behrisch Elce said...

I’m sure you’re making a lot of good decisions for your Dad. Take care of yourself as well. One thing at a time will get you through.

Fred said...

I just got back from my doctor's appointment to see your post (he took me off the blood pressure medication.)
I know how hard this can be. As has been said above take care of yourself. I will be thinking of you and your dad and will swim a few extra laps for you this afternoon.
Fred

Michael Matthews said...

Tough duty, Kirk. All of your readers wish you and your dad the best.

r w said...

So sorry to hear about the health crisis. I know from experience it is enormously stressful. Take care of your self & your dad. We’ll be here when things settle down for you. All the best, Re

Dave Jenkins said...

Praying for your father and for you.

ODL Designs said...

Keep well Kirk. It must be a very difficult time right now so get as much rest as you can, drink lots of water and eat good food to keep your strength up.

Best wishes to your family!

Anonymous said...

I spent 6 weeks with my sister in San Antonio at Texsan this time last year, alternating nights between our mom's hospital room and a hotel two blocks away, then another month in a nursing home. The sleepless nights following my mom's bypass, initiating dialysis, and a MRSA infection wore my sister and I both down. I ended up with two types of strep infection on my feet because of a compromised immune system. The antibiotics for that killed off my GI bacteria and left me susceptible to c. diff, picked up in the nursing home, which took me 6 months to get rid of. C. diff kills 15,000 people a year in the US.

The takeaway here is that if you don't take care of yourself; sufficient sleep, exercise, and a decent diet, you'll be no good to anyone else. So do take good care of yourself as well as your father.

Best wishes,

Lee

Rene said...

Hi Kirk,

I can fully empathize with you as I've been there with both my parents and my father-in-law and now with my mother-in-law. The rest of the world can wait, including all of us who look forward to this blog daily.

Chap said...

I'm glad you are close enough to be with your father, I wish you peace and comfort and the best for your father.

Peter Wright said...

Take care of yourself and do the family 'work' that needs doing – it ends soon enough. I've been through this myself and as I look back now I can at least take some satisfaction that I did what was needed to the best of my ability.
Peter Wright.

Dave said...

you're doing it right. keep moving forward as best you can. I hope you all find peace and comfort in each other.

Ed Rosack said...

Best wishes for your Dad and you, Kirk.

Ed

Ron said...

You're a good man Kirk.

Raymond Charette said...

I think what is «normal» at this stage, isn't what you think.
Hang in there MR Tuck. Family comes first!

DrMickey said...

Having survived two heart attacks, I can fully understand your urgency and your need for friends and others to help you through this. I am a daily reader (or as often as you post) and my heart, soul and prayers go out to you and your dad, and everyone else in your family. Kirk, you are a friend as I have come to know you through your blog, and I respect and admire your photographic prowess, but at a time like this, all I can say is God bless your dad and all who love him. If you need to talk...

Tom Vadnais said...

Sorry to hear what you're going through, Kirk. You're doing the noble thing, and it is appreciated by so many more than you could know. I'm missing your posts, but priorities first. Your legion of fans will be here waiting on your return.

Best of luck to you and your Dad. Make sure to take care of yourself, too.

Tom Vadnais

Carlo Santin said...

Thank God for modern technology. It is amazing what can be done now. In the past we would have simply passed in our sleep. I've been through something similar with my own father. He died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago. He was sick for a full year before he died. I was in the hospital every single day, or at his home, until he died. You will get through this, as hard as it is. So will your father. Peacefully, I hope, with whatever time he has left. Enjoy your time with him as much as you can, as difficult as it is. Try to give yourself a break when you can, whatever that means to you. By all means take a break from blogging, unless the blog is how you cope and unwind. Work is great, being productive and creative is too, but I've never met anyone who said damn I should have worked harder. Play is wonderful. Play more Kirk.

Dave said...

Wish you the best, Kirk. We went through a lot of this with my Dad, minus the dementia. It'so hard watching parents wither away.

Mike Rosiak said...

Kirk, "People first, then ..."

Knowing how you've spent your recent weekends, and your father's health status, when the gap in your posting grew, I suspected something along the lines you described.

Remember to breathe - deeply - and try to accept that what you are doing right now is your current purpose. It may not be what you had planned, but, (echoing John Lennon), life happens.

My daughter just spent two days at the children's hospital with her infant son. She should have been packing for an anticipated move.

I had emergency surgery the week before, Saturday morning, for a detached retina. Recovery will be 4 to 8 weeks. Meanwhile, my left eye is functionally blind.

So, life happens. No use to rail against it. But, as you are already doing, just do what needs to be done. You're doing fine.

And breathe.

Lenya Ryzhik said...

As everyone else is saying, you and your family all have our sympathy, and all your readers do care about you very much, Kirk, if that is any relief.

Kirk Tuck said...

All of you are amazing and wonderful and I wish all of you lived next door and we could just head out en masse and have coffee and walk together with our cameras. I love knowing that we have a community and a empathy for each other that transcends geography. You guys (gender neutral) are one of the pillars that allow me to get through stuff. Thanks to each and every one of you.

alexander solla said...

Best wishes to your dad during his recovery. This is a tough time. Blogging, photography and the rest can wait.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes from Down Under during these trying times. We have some of these ourselves at the moment, with aged relatives, and it's comforting to know that others do care.

Max

Don Parsons said...

Sending you positive thoughts, prayers and vibes my friend.

Don Parsons

Noons said...

Hang in there, Kirk.
Sending well wishes to your dad and all of you chez Tuck.

Paul said...

Best wishes Kirk to you and your family, you are obviously doing the most important thing at the moment - family always comes first.

We can probably survive a day or two without a post and if it helps we can probably cope with less prolific posting. Now you just need to organise a big bathtub to swim in at your dad's hospital.

Ann Mackay said...

Sending you best wishes and positive thoughts for both you and your dad. I've been in a very similar situation with my parents. (But Dad had the cardiac arrests & restarts, while Mum had the dementia.) You're doing the very best thing for your dad, a familiar face will help him to feel safe.)

Do look after yourself as well as you can - the strain of all this can be exhausting.(But you will get through it OK.) The photography, the cameras, the blog and all of us readers will still be here when you're ready.

Take care!

Bassman said...

Your dad, your health And your family are each way more important than this blog. As you can see from the other comments, many of us feel for you, sadly based on our own experiences.

Take care of yourself.

Hynee said...

I'm thinking of you. I hope normality resumes shortly for your sake.

David said...

Wow hang in there. I pray things do get better for you and your dad.
All the best,
David