3.01.2020

Rest in Peace, Studio Dog.

Studio Dog goes into the Great Unknown.
Feb. 29, 2020.

Studio Dog's real name was Tulip. That's the name that came attached to her from the foster parents who nursed her back to health when she was a tiny puppy rescued dog. We fell in love with her immediately. Over the last twelve years she guarded our home, nurtured our son from an unsure pre-teen to a smart and bold adult. She slept with him on his bed every night that he was home, even after college. She lavished him with unconditional love every time she saw him. 

Tulip had a strong amount of terrier in her genes so she was stubborn and opinionated. In all of her twelve years with us she never fought with another dog, never bit anybody and never failed to deliver maximum affection to her small and devoted pack (us). It seems strange to describe her as witty and charming but she was a very, very special dog. People would meet her out in the neighborhood, take one look at her beautiful brown eyes and their hearts would melt.

She saw me through a devastating bout of anxiety years ago by greeting me every time I came home and shepherding me to get out and do things (mostly walks with her) instead of moping around the house. She was the first person I greeted on arriving back home and I always explained to her where I was going and when I would be back if I was leaving the house. She seemed to understand.

Later in life she kept Belinda and I good company as we became empty nesters and Ben went far away to college. She had her place on the couch when we watched movies and she moved one of her beds next to my place at the dining room table just in case a tasty scrap happened to fall on the floor... She parked herself next to my desk in the office and reminded me how important it was to take breaks. After my father died she pushed me to work a bit less and nap a bit more in the afternoon. At every nap she  spent the time with all four paws touching me. Holding me in place.

We discovered several years ago that she had a congenital heart murmur and we had been treating her for that with medication. Recently she started to tire easily on relatively short walks and we consulted with her vet. The vet didn't sugar coat the bad news; Tulip's heart rate was abnormally fast and irregular.  We escalated to a canine cardiologist who did an EKG and a Echocariogram and suggested other medications. She didn't tolerate them well and was declining quickly. Her breathing was labored. Walking, even through her back yard, was a becoming an ever bigger effort.

We spent the last week trying to create a little "heaven on earth" for Tulip. Ben came over to the house daily, for hours at a time and sat with her, played with her and loved on her. Belinda and I cancelled all work and outside plans and doted on her with all of our hearts. 

She stopped being interested in food on Wednesday and by Thursday was refusing everything. I rushed out and bought her the best steaks I could find, cooked them as cleanly and perfectly as I could and chopped them into half inch cubes. She ate them with gusto, and with a tired smile on her face. 

She passed away yesterday with the assistance of a compassionate and wonderful veterinarian. She was at home surrounded all day by the only family she ever knew. She went quietly and comfortably and we each said "goodbye" in our own ways. She was affectionate and calm to the end.

One of my swim buddies knew about our situation and sent me a message. It was this:

"...grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you. I loved you so--twas Heaven here with you."  -Isla Pachal Richardson.

I think of it every time I start to cry...


95 comments:

Jim said...

Sorry to hear that. Dogs are truly our best friends.

Malcolm said...

Sorry to hear that Kirk. I'm not a dog person myself, but many in my family are. As one family friend said to me years ago, "If you want a friend you can rely on, get a dog." My condolences.

Antony J. Shepherd said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. You gave her a good life as a member of your family and as a member of your family she'll be missed.

Michael Matthews said...

You did well by one another. You were both good friends. My condolences.

Gato said...

So very sorry to hear.

Coasting said...

Hard to put into words the emotions a dog creates in your life and when memories are all thats left they will stay with you forever.Im off to attempt to spoil my two dogs rotten after reading this.

Russ Goddard said...

So beautifully written. I felt your love for a very special dog. And tears came . . .

Unknown said...

My Little (50 lbs) White Dog Jenny, a rescue from San Antonio, and I send our condolences.
There ain't nothing like a dog, and even though we know when we get them that we are almost certain to outlive them, we hope in our hearts that that is not true. Jenny is my 7th dog, and they have all been special it their own way. I have been blessed by each of them, as you have been by Studio Dog. Dogs may not understand English, but they certainly understand you. You all have loved her well, and not much more can be asked. Stay well.

Sam L / Boston said...

Kirk,
I've been reading your blog for many years now and have appreciated what you share. I'm sorry to hear about your loss of Studio Dog, and it hits close to home for me. My dog helped me through a round of depression in a similar way as yours and he left quite a big whole in my life when he passed.
I hope all of you find peace.
SL

J Williams said...

Very sorry to hear the sad news. Surely she had a great 12 years with your family from all the accounts you have shared with your readers. Condolences to you and your family.

mgwong said...

My heart goes out to you for the passing of your beloved dog. She will always remain twinkle in your heart.

Rob Allen said...

My condolences to you & your family, Kirk.

Anonymous said...

Very sad to hear, and there are no words to describe going through such a loss. My condolences to all of you.
Ken

Unknown said...

Our furry friends wind their way into our hearts and when they leave us break our hearts so completely. Sad news, Studio Dog, Tulip Rest in Peace.
Jb

Unknown said...

R.I.P. Tulip & my condolences to you, Belinda & Ben.

James Weekes said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Eric Seale said...

So sad to hear this, our condolences to your whole "pack."

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing another wonderful story. Who knew Studio Dog was named Tulip? That changes everything. Everything except the sadness of your great loss, my brother. ~Mark

Fred said...

My eyes are not dry as I type this. Your pictures of her have always been some of my favorites and I always her enjoyed her efforts to keep you in line. I will miss her from afar.
Betsy, Bella, and I send you our condolences to you, Belinda, and Ben.

Kirk, Photographer/Writer said...

Tulip always preferred to remain anonymous to the web. She was private like that...

Dick Barbour said...

Grieving with you, so sorry.

Tom Vadnais said...

Kirk, I am so sorry to hear about Tulip’s passing. I was so relieved a few days ago when you wrote you might have a bit more time with her. I’m so sorry that wasn’t to be.

I loved how you called Tulip “Studio Dog” in your blog. It was a perfect pseudonym for her. Like others have mentioned, I have shed tears for Tulip, including now. I felt I knew her a little from your blog. As Russ said, I could feel your love for her whenever you wrote about her. Your feelings for each other were evident in your photos of her, too. What treasures those photos are. They’ll help you along the way.

I lost my best friend Fredo on February 27 last year. I thought of Studio Dog on the anniversary of Fredo’s passing, and prayed she was doing well. Since Fredo passed, I have taken comfort in looking at photos of her over and over, and reading about how others coped with their loss of their dogs. Both helped me a lot. I mention them with the hope they help you, Belinda, and Ben, too.

I love the quote you ended your blog post with. One that helped me was, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” - Kadie Anderson.

R.I.P., Studio Dog.

Tom

Anonymous said...

I am crushed to read this, my heart goes out to you. May you remember the good times and cherish her forever on your hearts.

With great sadness,

Rick

ODL Designs said...

I am sorry to read about Tulip's passing. She did seem to provide the perfect companionship that only a dog can give.

mikepeters said...

So sorry to hear about Tulip. I wish you, Belinda and Ben peace, and many happy memories of your good friend and companion.

Larry C. said...

R.I.P Tulip.......

Noons said...

Oh man! Really sorry to read this. I've lost 4 dogs over the last 20 years and know how hard it can be when they are such a close part of our life. Only thing I can suggest to relieve your family is to get another rescue or puppy dog asap. It worked for us in every single instance.

Roland Tanglao said...

my condolences

D Lobato said...

Sharing your grieving with tears and sadness. RIP Tulip.

Rob Spring said...

My deepest condolences to you, Belinda, and especially Ben. It is so tough to loose a pet that has been there for as long as you can remember.

Anonymous said...

such love Kirk. May we all feel it so strongly!

Dave Jenkins said...

I understand.

amolitor said...

Sorry to hear it, man. You did well by studio dog. Take care, and take some time.

Bill Pierce said...

Rest in peace, Tulip. May the happy memories of a good dog last and the sadness of her passing fade.

crsantin said...

Oh, man. Rest in peace Tulip. You were greatly loved and gave great love. My sincerest condolences to you and your family Kirk. I know what you are going through.

MikeR said...

I'm sorry for you and your family. My condolences.

Michael Ferron said...

Aww. My sympathy Kirk. Karin and I lost 2 of our canine children in the last 2 years, I cried like a baby as I dug their little backyard graves. Not easy.

Richard said...

Kirk: having just gone through the death of our beloved French Bulldog named Rocket Man, I empathize with you. Reading your piece made me think of him once again and once again brought tears to my eyes.

Jim Metzger said...

It is never enough time.

So glad she got to spend her last earthly moments in the comfort of her home, surrounded by the ones she loved and who loved her in return. You did a mitzvah.

MB.Kinsman said...

Sorry for the loss to you and your family Kirk. Over the years I’ve enjoyed the Studio Dog stories and pictures. She was loved dearly and dearly loved.

Rick said...

Absolutely gutted Kirk, my deepest condolences to Belinda, Ben and you on the loss of your sweet Tulip. Know that she always knew she was, and is loved.

I'm reminded of the sad night I had to tell our little girl that our beloved doggie Bruno, had passed. Taking my hand she insisted I bring her outside so she could watch for him in the sky. My best, and only advice is to watch for Tulip in the sky. She's there.

Gary said...

Ach, the hardest thing.

Best to you.

Anonymous said...

So, so, sorry. I know how hard it is. Sounds like she had a great life. Wishing you well.

Henk said...

Dear Tuck family
I do understand your pain as I lost two great dog friends in the past. What remains are fond memories, in video, photo and in my mind. I know it is a bit early but eventually there will be another furry friend to fill the gap. All the best and take care.

RubyT said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't even have more words.

Peter W said...

Condolences, it is never easy to lose a friend. We have dogs 5 & 6, both retrievers moving into retriever middle age which means they are starting to not act like puppies all the time. At a time like this it is important to remember the twelve years of joy Tulip brought you and your family and also all the joy you three brought to her. She was loved and loved you back.

Peace

Sandy Rothberg said...

The best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of its owner.

I am sorry for your loss.

David said...

Oh, Kirk, I am so sorry. My wife loved Studio Dog and always wanted to see pictures of her.

John Talbert said...

My condolences to you & your family!
Tulip was a sweety!

BruceA said...

Deepest condolences to you and your family on your loss. Our family knows exactly how devastating this is. I work from home and our dogs (and our current successor dog) always kept (keep) me company in my basement office, got me out of my chair for a walk and play, and were companions to my wife and daughters.

While you may feel it is too soon to think about this, think about it anyway -- look for another four-legged best friend. I felt horrible each time one of ours passed and I know that they would have wanted another to be adopted by our family. While it sounds weird, I am sure that the spirit of each lost dog stuck around long enough to show his/her successor the ropes.

mosswings said...

Sadness, Kirk. Sadness. She was well loved and loved well in return, and the purity of that love is the sweetest of blessings.

I'm hugging our Shadow a bit more closely tonight.

Peace to you all.

My Midwest said...


My condolences to you and your family on your loss.
I wish to thank you Mr. Tuck.

Want you to know that your post allowed me to realize what is really important.

https://rodgersfoto.blogspot.com/2020/03/monday-morning-coffee-best-laid-plans.html

fotorr

atmtx said...

Kirk,

I'm so sorry to hear the news. My deepest condolences to you and your family. It was an honor to meet Tulip.

Andy

Paul Retzlaff said...

So sorry, they are such good friends. Great to see Studio Dog was a rescue. Saw this after shooting a joint promo for a local dog foster/rescue organization and a youth dance company. If you need a dog fix or just want to pay it forward a great cause.

Tom said...

I mourn with you for your loss and celebrate Tulip the Studio Dog. Thank you for sharing your life with us. The photography talk is a great bonus.

Best wishes, Tom

pixtorial said...

Kirk, thank you for sharing something so personal and beautiful. These creatures that choose to coexist with us, they are all truly gifts of the universe. You clearly loved and cared for Tulip and she echoed it back in every way. That she was that special and important is a reflection of the same in you and your family.

seany said...

My sincere condolences Kirk on the loss of studio dog,I feel it's a loss to all your faithful followers on here as well, be brave man we feel your pain.
Michael.

Ray said...

I'm really sorry.

robert quiet photographer said...

very sorry to hear this. It's so sad when such a loss happens.

Kenneth Voigt said...

so sorry

Anonymous said...

Writing this with tears in my eyes...My Dad says that dogs are better creatures than we humans deserve. I know he's right about that. Take good care.

Timo said...

Sincere condolences for your loss.

Hugh said...

So sorry to hear your news.

Andrzej Rojek said...

Very sorry to hear that. As Marian Eile memorably wrote a few decades ago "there are three things that can make a man happy: a woman, a job, or a car. The best of them is a dog". Even if there is a flavor of exaggeration in that (characteristic for Eile's satirical writing), it shows some kind of truth about what human-canine relationship can be.

Mitch said...

How wonderful to hear she was a rescue. How wonderful to hear she returned that love many times over, ultimately rescuing you multiple times in perhaps small ways which made a big difference in you life. We must remain thankful, even at this devastating point, for all that these souls impart into our lives. And remain thankful that it is us who were privileged to walk with them as part of our journey.

Jerry said...

Broken hearts
Grief
More grief
Time
Time
Time
Much more time
A memory brings a smile
More memories
More smiles
Profound gratitude that these creatures can love us.

Anonymous said...

Such sad news Kirk. Sincere condolences to you and all the family. I loved seeing your pictures of her and hearing about how she kept you all close. Rest in peace Tulip in the big studio in the sky. Kind regards, Keith

Jeremy S said...

I'm late to this, Kirk. In fact I am the 66th person to comment. Doesn't that say something about you and the community you've created? You are such a credit to the world of photographic blogging. As was Tulip the Studio Dog. She didn't type a word but was as loved as you are. My heart goes out to you all.

Jeremy S

Anonymous said...

Big ditto to what everybody has said, Tulip my be gone, but her memory will live on Via Con Dios... Tulip!

Best Regards

W Shaw

Anonymous said...

A big ditto to what everyone has stated. Studio Dog will be missed for sure, but her memory will live on... Via con Dios

Sr71 W. SHaw

Kirk, Photographer/Writer said...

Thank you to everyone. It means so much to me. We are all connected in some way. This is a manifestation of that connection.

Daniel Rikely said...

Your post brought me to tears. My thoughts are with you and your family, as you mourn your loss of Tulip, the Studio dog. Daniel

Scott said...

“You can think of death bitterly or with resignation, as a tragic interruption of your life, and take every possible measure to postpone it. Or, more realistically, you can think of life as an interruption of an eternity of personal nonexistence, and seize it as a brief opportunity to observe and interact with the living, ever-surprising world around us.”
― Barbara Ehrenreich

I tried to think about this last year when my rescue mutt passed away. He and Tulip both seized life and and loved living. That's the most anyone can hope for.

Anonymous said...

Your words are as powerful, and as evocative as your photos.

Don Parsons said...

I’m so sorry Kirk.
Our dogs are like family and when we have to say goodbye, it’s true grief we feel.
You could tell you loved studio dog from your posts, your pictures.
Thanks for sharing with us.
I’m sure she knew just how good a life she had with you all.
Don

Jim Tardio said...

I've lost two dogs over the years and I still think of them often. Working at times from home, as you do, they become our eyes and ears.

The only creature on earth that is ALWAYS happy to see you.

George said...

R.I.P. Tulip and my condolences to the human family left behind.
George J

Lenya R said...

Kirk, you wrote so affectionately of her that all your readers feel your loss today. A sad day for all of us. Memories and knowing how well you all did by her should warm your heart a little. One can see the love your family had for her in your pictures so well.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Kirk. Studio dog will be missed but will live in memory. The dogs my wife and I had over the years, Fred, Tippy and Buffy still live in our memories and our pictures.

Steve B

Steve Branyon said...

Kirk, my heart goes out to you. A few years ago, we lost two dogs within the space of a year. It was devastating, so I feel your pain.
I so enjoyed your periodic musings about Studio Dog. They revealed the strong, genuine connection between the two of you and just how much you meant to each other. I will miss reading about your friend. In time, I hope you will take comfort in knowing how much you enriched each other’s lives. On that score, you both hit the lottery.
Condolences,
Steve Branyon

Craig Yuill said...

My condolences, Kirk. I know what it is like to lose a faithful companion like Tulip. My wife and I frequently think of Taffy, who passed on four years ago. There is sadness now - but the future will contain many fond memories.

Ann said...

So sorry Kirk. Our old darling died three months ago and the house is so empty without her. My condolences. Ann

Rufus said...

I relate to this completely. My dear doggy companion has a tumor and time is running out.

My thoughts are with you. Sharing our lives with a dog connects us to life and mortality. Their lives are shorter than ours and they remind us to live well and with open hearts.

I am so very sorry.

Anonymous said...

Our sincerest condolences on the loss of "Studio Dog"..
No words can fill the void but memories are there to remember and console.
In a short space we recently lost 2 cats.
Both were rescues, one was destined for delete due to not using the litter box,
the other unwanted at that time, who developed diabetes.
I gave the Insulin shots morning and evening.
Two rugs used by the other cat were washed daily.
The diabetic cat started to wane and suffered a fatal heart attack.
The remaining cat (they seemed never to be "buddies" suddenly was off the food and a
kind vet intervened in the suffering..
We still look where they used to doze, sleep,nap,rest as cats do 25 hours out of 24..
We know your loss. jason and merrica

Tom Powell said...

This broke my heart, Kirk. Blessings to all the Tucks.

Hal said...

Kirk, Belinda, and Ben...I'm so very sorry to learn of the loss of Tulip (Studiodog). During difficult times like these in my own life, I've found solace in these words...

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost (1874-1963)
https://poets.org/poem/nothing-gold-can-stay

Thanks for your light of love and compassion, as well as a sense of wonder and a will to share your lives with others! You each make the world a better place for your presence in it...and so it seems does Tulip...both in matter and in memory.

Eric Rose said...

What a wonderful tribute wall to a very special pet. Tulip has touched many of us through Kirk's blog but we must give credit where credit is due. It was Kirk's love for "Studio Dog" and his literary gift that brought Tulip to life for us. Tulip was a special dog and I feel blessed I had the honour of her company on her favourite couch. You could see and feel the love Kirk and Belinda had for Tulip and the love she had for them.

Pets bring out the best in us because they give back and amplify the love we bestow on them. It's a feed back loop we greatly benefit from. Pets allow us to love and behave in away that sometimes we are unable to with our fellow humans. I have learned a lot from my pets and grieve their loss.

I grieve for Tulip and her family. I also grieve "my" loss of Tulip and my loss of the wonderful stories Kirk has woven about the adventures of "Studio Dog".

Eric

Ex-ER Doc said...

Thank you for that beautiful & loving post. My condolences to you and yours.

Andrew Lamb said...

As a fellow dog owner, who has loved and lost, I offer you my deepest condolences. I am so sorry.

Alan Dougal said...

Kirk, I read your tribute to your beautiful companion with a tear in my eye. Your love for your pet shines true. I was impressed too by the love and care shown by you to your father and mother in their latter years. You are clearly a lovely, caring and compassionate human being. I too have been through the loss of parents and of a much loved pet. I empathise and sympathise. To lose a greatly loved pet is as hard as losing those closest to you. Think of shared times and reflect through your photos with your family on the joy that Tulip brought to your lives every day. Thank you, bye the way, for your wonderfully illuminating postings; I visit every day. Take care. Best wishes.

tbcass said...

This makes me want to cry. I wish our pets could outlive us. :-( Our 3 year old Cocker Spaniel gives us so much joy. Since I'm 74 I'm hoping he outlives me.

Roger Bradbury said...

We know what will happen in the end when we take responsibility for another dog, or in my case, a cat. Still we do it. It's hard.

The cat I have now was my Dad's until he passed away last year. Dad always had rescue animals, so now Marmaduke has been rescued twice. I wouldn't be without him.

John Harris said...

Kirk, my wife and I are so sorry for your loss. We lost our 12-year old Newfie 9-months ago. Very similar circumstance to your Tulip and passed in the same manner - in our home with the help of a kind vet and surrounded by love. We still cry. Pups make us better humans. Tulip thanks you for a great and full life.

Anthony Bridges said...

So sorry to hear about Tulip. The best to you and your family Kirk.

Neale said...

Even though I'm almost 3,000km from Austin, I felt a connection to Tulip, or Studio Dog (as I knew her) through your photos and posts. So sorry for your loss. All the best.