5.28.2020

Keeping Your Head in the Game. Keeping Your Hands on the Gear.


I'm noticing a sad trend in photo blogs. A lot of people are writing about regrets for things they never got around to doing. Reminiscing about some past "golden age" in photography or settling into their bunkers to rehash the Photo Secession or to re-re-re-appreciate some style (Walker Evans? Eugene Smith? Hopalong Cassidy?) from the days of film and prosperity. What all this depressed introspection seems to tell me is that people are marking this pandemic as the endpoint to their careers in photography and are now settling into the ritual telling of tales from the past. Sitting in a fucking armchair and staring out the window at...nothing. 

Of course, if you are financially able, you can certain call it game over and pull up the drawbridges and spend the rest of your life watching your favorite movies re-run on TV and leafing through your stamp collections, or your old photo albums, and regretting all the things you didn't do. Or...you could just suck it up and get back to work on more photography. More art. More of everything. Sure, we've had a two month+ break in which we could sit with ourselves and assess. But the longer we go on with the presumption of having hit the end of the road the rustier we are going to be when we shake off the depression and get our hands back on the cameras and do our work. For pleasure or money. 

I'm trying every day to keep my head in the game and my hands on a camera. You'll notice I miss very few days of writing new content for the blog. I also have let all my friends know that now is the time to hit me with all those "can you do me a favor?" projects that tend to pile up. This doesn't mean I'm ready to put safety on the line, and I'm not rushing back to work to make money, but it does mean that I think photographing, like swimming, is something that requires daily or almost daily practice if you are going to be at all good. But more daunting than swimming is that the cultural vision that we all share and add to in our photographs is very much a moving target and even if we think our work doesn't change a daily practice and review would show that most of us incorporate, little by little, the changing textures of society in general and our environments specifically. But we have to experience life to incorporate, in an honest way, these textures and nuances of changing life. We have to get outside our own lethargy.

Yesterday was fun. A friend had asked if I would photograph the exterior of his house over in Dripping Springs, Texas. I was happy to oblige. We do stuff for each other all the time.

I packed a small collection of lenses and a camera, put on my hiking shoes, and headed over (about 28 miles due West) to his house. It's in a neighborhood gifted with marvelous (and challenging) hills for walking, and the majority of the houses sit back on five acre lots. The roads are mostly bereft of any traffic and you could walk down the middle of them, eyes closed, with impunity. After a pleasant walk and a break for ritual coffee I broke out the photo gear and started to explore the exterior of his house. I've visited more than a few times lately and have always loved the way he and his wife have integrated the exterior Texas Hill Country into their home. Big screen porch with a giant dining table. A cozy patio. BBQ smokers and outside cookers galore. Even an outside shower to wash off after a hot run in the sun. 

I brought along the Lumix S1R, a Lumix 24-70mm f2.8 S-Pro and a Sigma Art Series 20mm f1.4. The camera has great image stabilization so I left the two car tripods in the car. I made big time use of the in finder levels and shot the files a little dark with the idea of preserving the highlights in the raw files while intending to lift the shadows and midtowns during post production. 

For me the fun thing was to have a project that came from outside my own head. I shot a bunch of images and processed nearly 80 of them for my friend's future use. The project focused me on photography, gave me ample hand/eye practice and let me take chances with composition and shooting style. I set the in-camera profile to "flat" and was amazed at how much dynamic range the camera captured. 

A client called today from a favorite law firm and needed to track down an image I'd done a couple of years ago of one of their key attorneys. He'd won an award and needed an image of himself for several magazines and journals. I called him directly to see exactly what he needed and we actually settled on a different image he'd come to like better than the one we originally retouched for the law firm. 'Would I mind processing this one?' Of course not. Glad to do it. I spent a while making tweaks in PhotoShop, just to see if I still had the touch, and made the best portrait image I possibly could. He was delighted. I was thrilled to have a "real" reason to jump back into PhotoShop and practice my skills. 

I'm putting together a donation package of video gear for Zach Theatre today and will spend a bit of tomorrow delivering the stuff and then getting online with the in-house content producer (who desperately needs some decent tools with which to shoot during the shut down --- for every marketing thing you can imagine) to walk him through all the little tips for using the gear. It's a camera that does wicked good 1080p and very good 4K video as well as a microphone, a mixer, some batteries, two LED light panels and a video tripod. It feels good to know that my gift will be going to a non-profit that I love and also to a producer whose work will really benefit. And it's a way to keep thinking about craft.

Once I hit a stopping point today I'm grabbing a camera and heading out for a long walk. Part of the desire to head out the door is to get some additional exercise (head clearing tonic of the gods...) but also to get my hands all over a camera and work with it like a sculptor works a chisel or a painter works a brush. It's only when you stop; hard stop, and start looking backwards into the scrapbook that the rust starts to creep in. Keep the photographic joints moving and you'll stay in the game. It's only when you surrender to endless reminisces and regret that you kill the spirit and end your engagement with your art. And that would be too sad to contemplate. 

Today's camera will be the Panasonic GX8 and I'll be sporting the little 12-32mm, collapsible kit lens when I head out. The choices of how to use your time are stark; you can give up and watch endless tutorials on YouTube (or "research" other crap on the web) or you can remember what drove you into this passion-filled hobby when you were young and fresh and go out the door to see what might be keeping you in the hobby now that you're experienced and crafty. Easy choice for me.

But I get that it's like swimming early in the morning. There's always a rationale for not getting out of bed at 5:30, not putting on your swim gear, not backing out of the driveway, not jumping into the cold water, and not breaking a sweat or breathing hard. But every day you rationalize your retreat is one step further from ever coming back. And back is, generally, where we want to be. 

There is an old Zen story about the past, the present and the future. I can't remember it exactly but the gist of it is that if you always ride at the stern of a boat all you will ever see are the places you have been, along with the wake of the boat but if you ride at the bow you see the beautiful, still water in front of you and the places you may yet go. And if you shut your eyes, calm your mind, and breathe you'll experience being in the present. The past is done. Written. That book is closed. The present is where the action is. If you let go of the past you get to live in the exhilarating moment of now. As to the future? One foot forward and all is blackness. You can't know. You can plan but you can't know. That's why amplifying the moment are in now is the strategy that will satisfy you the most. 

As my kid always reminds me: No one outside of your own house cares about the awards you won in the past. They're only interested in what you'll do now. 

I stopped and thought about that when I was photographing my friend's house. And I thought to myself: How lucky I am to have this camera, this friend and...this day. Make the most of it.





The pool seems like a harsh mistress in the cool chill of early morning
But an hour later the pool seems like a cherished lover.
The water and the motion have enriched you.

15 comments:

JC said...

Tales of the virus: Today I gave away eight once-expensive, and still-in-good-shape, camera bags. Luckily, I still have eight or ten more.

Taking this slow time to do things that need to be done, like giving stuff away (and quarterly income tax looms.) Basically, as I get older (I'm 76) I have the sense of time running out and things undone -- and there's still so much to do. For my entire life, there's always been too much to do, and I suspect that's not going to stop until I hit the wall. At least, I hope it doesn't. Even getting brief two-sentence swimming lessons on VSL helps fill in the otherwise time-wasting cracks in my life.

sixblockseast said...

I hear you, Kirk, but to be fair to MJ over at TOP, he wrote at the very beginning of his past-looking post that "Who knows, maybe one of these will help some photographer somewhere who's still young and has years in front of him or her." I see no wrong with looking back to draw lessons for the future.

David said...

Good encouragement! I was out in the back yard yesterday morning, in a cool, light rain, trying to get decent pictures of our hydrangea blossoms. It’s harder to do than you might think. Got to keep working.

As an aside, it’s cool and overcast here this morning and the air is completely still. Great conditions for taking flower pictures. But if I go get my camera and tripod and go outside, either the wind will start blowing or it will start raining. It never fails.

David said...

OK, so, as info, twenty minutes after my first comment, it’s raining. The weather gods were reading over my shoulder.

ODL Designs said...

Our envelope of experience Kirk is very narrow. We live as if the moment we are in describes the forever.

You know I run a design agency, last year was both our most profitable and highest sales year in 15 years, this year might be the worst in 13 years. But when the whole disaster started I decided if the studio was empty (all the designers working from home) I would bring all my exercise equipment in and work out every day so I am in the best shape of my life before turning 40 (in 2 weeks). My project manager joined me and almost every day we have been working out 6 days a week. As the weather has warmed I have been riding my bicycle to work as well.

So while sales slumped, budgets were slashed and clients furloughed my energy levels have been going up and I am nearly in the best shape of my life. As someone who played multiple sports at a national level in my late teens I might even give an 18 year old version of myself a run for his money. My Project Manager who has been a friend for 15 years is also in the best shape of her life, and she is only a year or two younger than I am.

So, I could have taken the misery of my business life and painted it all over my family life and my health, I went the other way. I have been enjoying spending more time with my kids, eating and cooking good food, and getting into great shape. So coming out of this I am feeling like I can conquer the world!

Keep well and thanks for the read, I love coming here as it stimulates thought!

amolitor said...

I ain't quittin' despite occasional suggestions to the contrary!

Kirk, Photographer/Writer said...

Sixblackseast, is it better to fair or honest?

sixblockseast said...

Kirk, MJ is in the business of blogging, not making a living taking photos. In that sense, he is far from calling "game over". To the contrary, he is coming up with new ways to generate discussion, and has a captive audience further boosted by the current situation. I especially like his new print crit weekend posts.

Greg Heins said...

I can’t speak for others, but my comment to MJ was very much intended at younger readers. Otherwise, why bother? I’m all about “shoot every day.” (And print - museum standards - at least every week.) In this condition of working from or near home, I’ve taken a page from Eugene Smith’s loft years and stationed a tripod on both front and back porches (we’re on the second floor), so that the resistance to shooting is that much less.

Kirk, Photographer/Writer said...

I'm not out to be harsh to MJ. I read a bunch of different blogs and they've all turned a bit depressive and "past focused" in the last month or so.

Greg, I only saw the small, edited version of your comment, not the full comment. I would have been most interested to read it all. As to younger photographers: I can't think of what I would know that would really affect them or change the way they want to do stuff. We learn by experience much more than from advice; no matter how good or well intentioned. As a kid you hear that the stove is hot and not to touch the stove almost every day but you don't really understand and internalize the concept until you --- touch the stove.

To be honest I found many of the comments on that particular post to be a bit depressing. Were there more than one or two people commenting who actually loved their lives and careers? Were there more than one or two who didn't have a list of regrets? It's like everyone thinks you can go back in a time machine and choose from a bunch of different, better realities instead of working with the reality they've created for themselves.

It might just be the way I interpreted the post but I came away mildly depressed and at least a bit confused that people couldn't see the choices they made while they were living in those moments and, if they didn't like the outcome, why they didn't change their focus and embrace something different.

Even during the bleakest moments of this year I'm still thrilled to be photographing, moving around, writing and having as much fun as I can, commensurate with public health precautions.

Kirk, Photographer/Writer said...

Sixblockseast, The print critique about the train engine lost me entirely. I was right back teaching class at UT College of Fine Art and listening to students muddle their way toward saying "I don't like your photograph" but I'm trying to be nice and supportive. Lots of word salad to say that he was bored by the content but he liked the printing...

Yes, he is writing about photography but with the idea that he understands it from the perspective of a photographer. Have you read the work of A.D. Coleman? An avowed non-photographer but a killer photo reviewer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._D._Coleman

I like Mike but don't always agree with his direction on the blog. Those are two separate ideas.

sixblockseast said...

I have not read Coleman yet, but will try to soon. Thanks for the recommendation!

Rene said...

The Corona virus has forced me to completely change what I do in photography. For the last several years, I have been immersed in covering local and regional climate catastrophe demonstrations, protests, actions, meeting etc. as well as other political events. That's meant a lot of people contact at close quarters over an extended period of time. That stopped dead in mid March as my state (Massachusetts) experienced high levels of COVID-19 infections and deaths and a statewide shutdown. I've not been in a public situation with other people in 2.5 months since I'm in my 70's with underlying health conditions. At first, I thought about stopping, but decided now was the time (since I now had all this time) to start looking at the world around me again to see if I could find something new to photograph. Honestly, it's been hard, but I made the firm decision to always carry a camera with me when I went out for my daily walks. I'm just starting to see the world again photographically within a limited geographic area, but I am learning again and that makes it all worthwhile.

amolitor said...

You can find AD still publishing away regularly at photocritic.com. He is, literally, both a gentleman and a scholar.

Highly recommended.

sixblockseast said...

Thanks for that link, amolitor!