3.26.2019

Portrait of a Middle Aged Photographer. Taking an objective view of one's own face.

Kirk Tuck by Frank Grygier, ©2018 Frank Grygier.

There is nothing like spending one's life taking portraits of other people and then being confronted by someone else's portrait of oneself. This is a portrait of me as photographed by friend and fellow photographer, Frank Grygier. It's scary to see what I really look like but I think Frank has been neither too kind nor too unkind in his attempt to capture something of what it is like to be 63, to be in a very bizarre business, and to carry around within me the hard core belief that I'm really still 23 years old. 

I love his use of classic 3/4 side lighting, it's both dramatic and clinically revealing. His use of a 100mm  lens renders my face with more accuracy than a shorter or longer lens would have and I love the fact that the glasses frame on my right eye (left of frame) is darker and the frame on the right is light against darker skin. On a personal level I twinge to see that errant and unruly eyebrow hair float up like a flag against the left temple but at the same time I admire the inclusion of that detail as a light-against-dark contrast that makes my expression more interesting (at least to me). 

Seeing this photo and then boring into the details makes me wish I could go back in time and apply sunscreen every single time I left the house, and especially on the days of those blissful midday swims. We luxuriated in the strong sun back then but I pay for it with vague and worrisome tattooing of the skin on my face now. The portrait's details give me an uneasy assurance that I'll be getting to know my dermatologist quite well, some time in the future. 

Frank's strategic placement of my hand serves to hide a bit of "turkey neck" that comes with age and heredity. But even the way his light plays across both sides of my wedding ring adds to the allure of the  split nature of the lighting in the frame. 

My eyes look, by turns, fearful (who would not have trepidation to have their flaws so blatantly exposed?) but also inquisitive and present. I'm always keenly interested in how other people make portraits and watching Frank added ever more data points to my bank of possible lighting solutions.

I think it would be an interesting micro-workshop for each of us to seek out a photographer friend within our age demographic; someone whose work we admire, and ask them to make our portrait. After sitting through a session we would then turn the tables and make a portrait of the other. The reason is that we each could use portraits of ourselves as a more objective measure of how the world sees us. A different perspective than the one in the mirror. Because it is well known that the gaze in the mirror is modified second by second by the desire of the mind for assurance that things have not gone along quite so far....

17 comments:

rexdeaver said...

Great portrait

Rufus said...

You are one handsome silver Fox, Kirk.

ODL Designs said...

Love your idea in the last paragraph!

Michael Ferron said...

Wait! Middle age lol? Do your math Kirk. I have a year+ on you and figure I am playing in the 4th quarter. But no matter how you calculate it? The best of health and life to us all.

Kirk Tuck said...

Ah Michael, didn't you get the memo? Sixties are the new forties. That makes us resolutely middle-aged. Besides, no one gives out senior discounts until we're at least 65....

MikeR said...

A. Nice portrait. It's you.
B. I'm really 7, not 77. And sometimes, 11, and other times 13. My wife judges my inner age by the elementary school jokes I still remember, TV shows she never heard of, and popular songs that pre-date her current corporeal existence.
C. Dermatologist NOW! Then, every year after.

Kirk Tuck said...

I have a great G.P. and a dermatologist who I seem to see at least twice a year, at which time I say, "What the hell is this?" and he replies, "Ah, that's an actinic keratosis." and then proceeds to attack me with liquid nitrogen or some other torture tool. Wish I could get me some of that Canadian healthcare. That would be sweet.

Wess Gray said...

Kirk, It must be the season for portraits. Stephen Kennedy photographed me on his way though Enid last month. I loved (and I don't use that term about things very often) the portrait, it's my favorite since 1974. Thanks for showing of your portrait.

MikeR said...

Good for you! I do the same routine annually. Have had both basal cell and squamous cell carcinomas removed. A former work colleague ignored the signs, and last time I saw him, half of his face had been reconstructed, and he wore a cap to avoid grossing out everybody.

Gordon R. Brown said...

I’ve taken advantage of senior discounts offered to 55 and over and 60 and over. I always ask if a senior discount is avalable. Don’t be afraid to ask. I’m only 69.

Raymond Charette said...

I think it's a good honest portrait. (Just look at all that hair!) I've never met you, but I'd like to meet the man in this portrait. I like your idea about having one's portrait done by a colleague. By the way, I'll be sixty-nine soon and I'm almost completely bald! Stay healthy!

Michael Matthews said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wjl (Wolfgang Lonien) said...

Honest critique?

For me and my taste, tho I agree about the rims of your glasses, the light could be a bit more "forgiving". I recently photographed a colleague (who is about 10 years younger than you or me) with window light from two sides, and I think it's a better lit photo than this one.

What I find totally gimmicky - sorry - is that Steve Jobs pose of your hand. If something just shouts "pose!", then a cheap one like this. A no go.

The rest, well the catchlights at the classic half past ten position, ok but nothing special.

Oh, and I seriously think that one cannot critique a photo of him (or her-) self.

Just my 2 (Euro-) Cents, hope you don't mind.

Cheers,
Wolfgang

Dogman said...

I like the portrait but you really should know that, at age 63, you are no longer "middle age". According to the Social Security Administration, the proper category is "closely approaching retirement age". Welcome to the geezer club!

Robert Roaldi said...

I'm closing in on 66 and I'm immature as hell.

Anonymous said...

First thought I had was that the hand ruins a great portrait. Almost looks like the hand is not yours...

Mitch said...

I have always just loved the way light like this makes the eyes look, with a highlight and shadow side to them.

I never get clients who want light like this because they always complain it makes them look like they should have used more sunscreen in the preceding years. Even though manipulating the file to replicate a touch of red filter on B+W film can ease some of that. Oh well.